


The Volunteer

by thatwriterlady



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aggressive alpha, Alpha Dean Winchester, Alpha Jo Harvelle, Alpha Sam Winchester, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Caring Alpha, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Challenges, Comfort, Coming to Terms with Loss, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Dean Winchester Not Being an Asshole, Doctor Sam Winchester, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Falling In Love, Feelings, Happy Ending, Loss, M/M, Making Friends, Omega Castiel, Omega Eileen Leahy, Opening Up, Physical Therapist Dean Winchester, Pups, Revelations, Self-Hatred, Smut, True Mates, courting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 14:18:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 29,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16536203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatwriterlady/pseuds/thatwriterlady
Summary: There is an Omega that comes into the NICU to hold the premature pups.  He has been doing it for the last fifteen years and while the staff know his name, none know his history or why he does it.  He does a wonderful thing, holding them, cuddling them skin to skin, encouraging them to thrive.  Sam Winchester is the doctor that delivers most of the pups, and the ones that land themselves in the NICU, he has a special place in his heart for them, and he is glad for the Omega's frequent visits, even if there's a haunted look in the man's eyes.When Dean comes up to the hospital, meeting him in front of the NICU instead of in his office, he is drawn to the beautiful Omega, moved by the man's beauty.  When Sam informs him that this Omega is his truemate, he's excited and wants to meet the man.  He's longed for his truemate for as long as he remembers.  The problem?  The feeling is not mutual.  Dean is persistent though, and soon the Omega has allowed him into his world.  He feels lucky to be there, but bonding might not be possible.  Sometimes loving someone isn't enough, not when they can't love themselves.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my submission for the DeanCas Big Bang this year, and I hope you all like it. I did add angst in this one, and it will be a constant element throughout the story. The angst is mild between Dean and Cas, but it is there. They do overcome it though. Have faith in me, my lovely readers. If you've read my other works you know I wouldn't break my boys apart. The angst though is important to the storyline. It has nothing to do with breakups or cheating. There are more than a couple types of angst, and you'll see soon enough the direction I took this. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this one, it's probably one of my favorites that I've ever written. I've been playing around with angst lately, and this is what I came up with. 
> 
> I want to thank Diminuel for the art she lent to this story, and I hope everyone enjoys it. Visit her Tumblr page here: http://diminuel.tumblr.com/ She is an amazing artist and every piece she did for this are fantastic.

 

 

Jo was standing at the nurses station checking a new patient file when she caught the soft scent of honey and cloves.  Her nostrils flared, and she looked up in time to see a man walking past.

 

“Don’t,”  Missouri warned from her seat beside her.  She was busy readying vitamins for the patients and didn’t even look up.  Jo came around to sit in the seat on the other side of her.

 

“He’s an Omega.  Who is he?”

 

“You’ll see him here a lot.  Don’t bother him. He’s a volunteer,”  Missouri replied.

 

“Volunteer?”  Jo’s eyes drifted back in the direction the man had gone in.  He was heading towards the NICU. “For the preemies?”

 

“Yes.  He spends a few hours a week holding them; skin on skin contact is important for their health and brain development.  I know you just started, sugar, but Castiel has been coming in here for 15 years. He does not appreciate Alphas coming on to him, no matter how good he smells, so do not try to flirt with him.”  This time Missouri did look up at her, peering over the edge of her reading glasses. Jo swallowed hard and nodded.

 

“He’s doing a really good thing.  Pups need that.”

 

“Yes they do.  Not all of them have loving parents willing to put in the effort for them, and others have parents that can’t get enough time off work to just sit here for hours on end.  Castiel is the reason their pups thrive when they would otherwise fail. He’s a real-life angel. You respect him. Don’t let me catch you bothering him.”

 

“I won’t,”  Jo promised.  She’d smelled Omegas just as wonderful before, but she was always polite and respectful.  If Missouri said this Castiel was off limits, then that was that. She would leave him alone.   Doctor Winchester chose that moment to walk up to their station. His nostrils flared as he inhaled, and a warm smile rose up on his face.

 

“Castiel is with the pups.”

 

Missouri looked up at him, smiling and nodding.  “He just got here.”

 

“Good, we have two new ones in there that could really benefit from his attention today.”  

 

He reached over the counter to pick up one of the charts, scanning over it briefly.  

 

“Room 342 is ready for discharge, needs you to clear her and the pup.  Same for 366,” Missouri said.

 

“Send that to my tablet,” he told her as he started down the hall.  She set the vitamins aside and sent the information to his tablet. 

 

“Get these vitamins to your rooms.”  She passed a tray of tiny cups to Jo.  Prenatals were handed out by the nurses even after delivery because the mothers still needed them.  Jo took them and got to her feet.

 

“I was thinking of getting sushi for lunch.  Want me to bring you back anything?” she asked.

 

“I’ll look over the menu later.  Sushi sounds good. I bet Sam will want in on that too,”  Missouri replied.

 

“Sam?”  Jo questioned.

 

“Doctor Winchester.  He’s a bit of a health buff.  Loves all things fresh and healthy.  Next time he comes by I’ll ask him.” 

 

Jo nodded.  “Ok, see you later.”

 

Missouri watched her walk away before shaking her head and finishing with the vitamins for her own patients.  Jo was going to have to work on keeping her inner Alpha in check if she planned to work in Labor and Delivery.  More than 90% of their patients were Omegas, and roughly 30% of those were unmated. Keeping a level head was vital, and remaining respectful was crucial.  She’d have to remind Ellen to keep an eye on her daughter, just in case. Until she had gotten used to working in this ward. Better to be safe than sorry.


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

Sam stood outside the NICU watching as Castiel rocked gently in the glider chair.  His shirt was open and he had a tiny pup pressed against his chest. Little Abigail Norman.  She was six weeks old now, though she’d been born almost six weeks premature. Her little hand was in her mouth and her eyes, the most beautiful chocolate brown, were wide open as she sucked away on her fingers.  The Omega was stroking his fingers gently up and down her back, smiling softly as he soothed the tiny pup. He knew she was one of Castiel’s favorites. She’d struggled so hard in the beginning. After her mother had given her up for adoption, essentially walking out on her, she’d had failure to thrive.  Sam and the nurses had all done everything they could to try and save her, but it was Castiel who managed to make her want to fight to live. She was almost ready to be released. It broke his heart knowing she didn’t have a home to go to, but she wasn’t the first pup to come through here that had been given up by their parents, and she wouldn’t be the last.  

 

“Hey, Sammy, you free to join me for lunch?”

 

He turned away from the window to see his brother approaching.

 

“Uh,”  he checked his watch,  “I’ll be free in a few.  I have a patient to check on.  Give me five?”

 

Dean nodded and watched as Sam headed around the corner.  He looked into the NICU window, his eyes landing on the man sitting with the pup cradled against his chest.  There was something both beautiful and intimate about it, and he was intrigued. He wondered if this was the volunteer Sam had mentioned a few times over the years.  The man looked up, his blue eyes locking on Dean’s own green ones. It sent something that felt like an electric shock through him. He’d already figured the man was an Omega, based on where he was and what he was doing, but he’d never had such a reaction to one before.  More than anything he wanted to go in there, to scent the man, but if this was the Omega Sam had mentioned, the man would be offended. 

 

“He’s saved her life.”

 

Dean jumped at the sound of his brother’s voice and turned to see that Sam was standing next to him.

 

“This is that Omega volunteer you talked about, right?”  Dean asked.

 

“Yeah, Castiel.  I don’t really know his story.  He showed up here about 15 years ago, long before I started here and just offered to volunteer to cuddle the pups that were really in critical care.  Thanks to him, many of them have gone on to thrive and survive. He has cried and mourned every one that didn’t make it,” Sam replied.

 

“He doesn’t look all that old.”  Dean noted. “Is he mated?”

 

Sam side-eyed him, pursing his lips.  “Don’t go there. No, he is not mated.  I don’t know how old he is. He’s older than me, that’s all that I know.”

 

Dean turned back to look at Castiel again and found the Omega still watching him.  A nurse had come to take the pup he’d been holding, and now he was cradling one that was barely bigger than his hand, holding it against his chest as he stroked a finger against its cheek.  There were so many wires Dean could hardly see the pup itself.

 

“Why is he staring at me?”  

 

“I don’t really know, he never does that.  Usually he focuses 100% on the pups. If he feels up to talking later, he might say something.”  Sam sighed and turned away from the window. “I have an hour, let’s go down to the cafeteria.”

 

“Cool.  I’m starving.”  Dean gave one last glance back at the Omega with the bright blue eyes.  Castiel was beautiful, though there was something in his eyes, something that spoke of heartache, and he found himself wondering what it was.  With a sigh he followed after his brother, not knowing if he’d ever see the gorgeous, haunted Omega again.

 

 

  



	3. Chapter 3

Sam came back from lunch and stopped at the nurses station to find Missouri chastising Jo.  Castiel was standing there and when he spotted Sam, he walked away from the nurses and made his way over to the doctor.

 

“Doctor Winchester, who was that man?  The nurse was…rude. I don’t wish to speak with her again.”  Castiel’s voice was rough and Sam got the impression he didn’t talk very often.

 

“Man?  Oh, you mean Dean.  Standing outside the NICU earlier?”  Sam asked.

 

“Yes, who is he?”

 

The Omega lacked social skills, Sam was aware of that, but he was almost aggressive in his demand.  It took the doctor by surprise.

 

“Oh, he’s my brother.”

 

Castiel stepped closer, his eyes narrowing and sniffing the air around him.

 

“Is that his scent on you?”

 

“I don’t know, I deal with a lot of people every day.  I didn’t touch him.” Sam shrugged. “Why are you asking?”

 

“Because I am fairly certain he is my truemate.  I am not supposed to find mine. I do not want to find mine.”  Castiel frowned. He looked conflicted. 

 

“You…don’t want to find your truemate?”

 

“It’s not fair.  He can’t…” Castiel shook his head.   _ “He won’t want me.” _  He looked so sad as he took a few steps back.  “I must leave.”

 

“You’ll be back though, right?  The pups need you.” Sam didn’t want him abandoning the NICU, there were so many pups that benefited from his contact and nurturing.  Castiel’s expression softened.

 

“I will return.  I could never leave them.”

 

Sam watched him leave before turning to see what was going on with Missouri and Jo.  

 

“What the heck?  Jo?” he grumbled.  She dropped her eyes in submission.

 

“She didn’t listen when I told her to leave Castiel alone.  Got a taste of what it’s like to be on the wrong side of an Omega’s wrath is what she did,”  Missouri replied for her. She was only a Beta, but she was head nurse and had authority over Jo.  Everyone, Sam included, had deep respect for her.

 

“Jo, come on, you have to respect everyone here, patients, staff,  _ and  _ volunteers.  He isn’t interested,”  Sam chided.

 

“But he’s interested in Dean.”  She looked up finally, her brown eyes not quite meeting his own.

 

“Let me rephrase this.  You will respect his and everyone’s wishes.  If he does not show outright interest in mating, then you are  _ not _ to make a move.  This? It’s a write up.  Missouri will handle it. I’m also going to recommend that you be transferred,” he said.  

 

“No!”  She gasped, finally looking him in the eye.  “This is where I always wanted to work!”

 

“You should have thought about that before you attempted to court an Omega you were warned not to go near.  This is not your personal dating pool,” Sam snapped, his own Alpha anger bleeding through into his voice and scent.  

 

“Go do your rounds,”  Missouri told her. Once Jo was out of earshot, she sighed heavily and looked up at the doctor.  “Don’t be too hard on her, Doc. Give her one more chance to get her act straight. I’ll talk to HR when I write her up.  We can get her on an inhibitor if she thinks she can’t control herself. She’s young, unmated, and still learning to control her urges.  I’ll keep a closer eye on her.”

 

Sam was torn.  This was a ward that dealt with a large number of Omegas, and he was loathe to put them in danger.  Jo had only just graduated and started working there two weeks earlier. This really was the first time she’d acted up, but it was also very early in her nursing career to have a mark end up on her record.  He rubbed his eyes and sighed.

 

“Fine.  But I’ll be recommending an inhibitor.  I don’t want any Alphas working on my ward that can’t control themselves.  It puts my patients in danger.”

 

“Understood. I’ll get that written up now so you can sign off on it, then I’ll bring it up to HR.”  She went over to one of the file cabinets to retrieve the proper forms. He shook his head and went to start his afternoon rounds.  What a day this had been.


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel went straight home after the hospital, bypassing the kitchen, despite his stomach growling and walked into his bedroom.  He was on edge, unable to calm down, and he hated feeling like this. It had taken him a long time to feel comfortable going into the hospital, to volunteer his time, and his sister had gone to great lengths to make sure he was safe, but he didn’t  _ need _ Alphas protecting him.  He could take care of himself, damn it.  

 

Doctor Winchester had never brought his brother up to the maternity ward before.  In the six years that Castiel had known the Alpha doctor to work there, he’d never once seen Dean there.  Talking to the doctors hadn’t been a priority. Mostly he spoke with Meg, the head NICU nurse, and on occasion, Tess, another NICU nurse.  Sometimes he spoke with the parents of the pups he was helping. Mostly though, he spoke to the pups. He didn’t have much to say to the people around him.  Thinking back on his conversation with Doctor Winchester, he realized he might have appeared rather rude and demanding. On his next visit he would have to make a point of apologizing.  His people skills were rusty, and it had not been his intention to offend or upset the Alpha who had been nothing but kind to him all these years.

 

He paced the room as he thought about the interaction earlier.  The day had been going as it always did, peacefully, holding each of the pups that needed his touch the most, and then he’d felt something he’d never experienced before.  It had felt like this pull towards the window. Earlier he’d seen Doctor Winchester standing there but when he looked up next, there was another man standing there, this one staring at him with bright green eyes that were framed by long lashes.  For a moment he’d seen the red ring around them and he’d known. This was his truemate. There was nothing he could do about that though, not with a fragile pup in his arms. Not that he even wanted to do anything about it. 

 

A frustrated growl was torn from his throat before he stalked out of the bedroom and into the bathroom across the hall.  He closed the door so he could look into the full length mirror that hung there. Tears of frustration stung his eyes as he unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall from his shoulders.  His eyes slid down his chest, over the firm muscles of his chest and stomach. To look at him, no one would realize the secret he carried with him. He unbuckled his belt and slid it out of his pants, then opened his zipper.  His pants pooled around his ankles and he stepped out of them, toeing his shoes off in the process. There it was, his glaring reminder of everything he’d lost, and the reason why he went to the hospital to hold the pups that were sick and in need of being held and touched.  He ran his fingers lightly over the scar on his lower abdomen as he choked back a sob. This was why he couldn’t talk to Dean. Maybe it would be better if he made arrangements with another hospital to volunteer there instead. His heart ached at the thought. This was where his Sadie had died.  It felt like he was betraying her just thinking about going somewhere else. What was he supposed to do though? How was he going to know what to do?

 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

 

“Dean, we need to talk.”

 

Dean frowned down at his phone where it rested on the kitchen counter.  He’d put it on speakerphone when his brother had called so his hands were free to finish cooking his dinner.

 

“Uh, I thought that’s what we were doing.  You did call after all.”

 

“No, it’s more important than that.  This isn’t the time for joking. Did you do or say anything to Castiel at the hospital today?”  Sam asked.

 

“The Omega in the NICU?”  Dean paused in sautéing the peppers and onions he was making for his stir fry to look at the phone.  “I never so much as opened the door. Besides, there are two sets of doors, for contamination reasons.  I stayed in the hall. Why would you even ask me that?”

 

“Because he freaked out.  Started asking the nurses about you and ended up with Jo going almost feral on him because he’s unmated.  Missouri had to write her up.” 

 

Dean heard his brother sigh on the other end of the line.  He knew how hard that was. He hated writing up staff.

 

“Freaked out why?”

 

“Because he was insistent that you were his truemate.”

 

The flipper slipped out of Dean’s hand and clattered to the floor.

 

“Shit.”  He stooped down to grab it and carried it over to the sink to wash it off.

 

“You ok?”  Sam asked.

 

“Yeah, I’m cooking, dropped the flipper.”  

 

“Did you feel something today?”  

 

Dean licked his lips as he walked back to the stove.  “Uh, I did, actually. Not sure what it was. It felt like a pull, maybe?  He kept staring at me, it was unnerving. Pretty intense dude. And I think maybe his eyes went gold for a second, but that could have just been my eyes playing tricks on me.”

 

“Dean.”  Sam sounded like he was chastising him.  He hated when his brother did that.

 

“What?”

 

“That only happens to truemates.  It barely flashed because you were a room away and couldn’t scent one another.  Were you standing in front of one another, you’d have both lit up like Christmas trees.”  

 

Dean turned the burner off and moved the wok to the back burner.  He leaned back against the counter, considering his brother’s words.  “When will he be there next?”

 

“I don’t know.  His visits are random, and we never know when he’s coming until he shows up.  He comes in a couple times a week though,” Sam replied.

 

“I’d like to talk to him,”  Dean said.

 

“He didn’t seem too excited to talk to you.  If anything, he seemed…scared. I’m no psychiatrist, but I did minor in it.  I’d say he has suffered trauma in his past. Seeing as how he comes into the NICU to spend time with the most fragile and sickest of pups, I’d say he has lost one of his own, and it has left him with long-term emotional damage.  I think he’s afraid of it happening again.”

 

Dean frowned.  “Well, if he’s my truemate, he’s going to want to be with me, right?  And I’ll want to be with him.”

 

“But you can’t force mating on him.  I won’t let you.” There was a warning in Sam’s voice, and Dean bristled at the sound of it.

 

“I wouldn’t force anything on him; I’m not that kind of person, you know that, but I’d like the opportunity to plead my case at least.”

 

“You have to be prepared for the possibility that he might not be able to have pups.  That might be what he’s scared of too,” Sam said. 

 

“I don’t care.  Pups are not my reason for existing.  I have yours to spoil, or maybe I could adopt.  I just…I want the chance to know my truemate, you know?  You got to know yours.”

 

“You’re right.  Ok, the next time he comes by, I’ll text you,”  Sam told him. “I’ll let you eat.”

 

“Yeah, ok.  We’ll talk later.”  

 

Dean hit the button to disconnect the call but didn’t move from his spot leaning against the counter.  He nibbled at his lower lip as he thought about Castiel. He’d always wanted to find his truemate, and he’d started to think it wasn’t going to happen.  Finding out that his was possibly damaged didn’t discourage him in the slightest. He would help Castiel, if the man would let him. All he wanted was to be given a chance.  Hopefully he’d get one.


	5. Chapter 5

Castiel arrived on the maternity ward, his eyes and ears alert as always.  He was watchful for the blonde nurse that had gotten aggressive with him last week and almost pushed him into taking a chunk out of her arm after she’d dared to touch him without his permission.  Thank goodness Nurse Mosely had stopped her. He trusted Nurse Mosely. 

 

The nurses station was empty when he walked past it, the blonde nurse nowhere to be seen.  Another doctor, a woman he thought was Doctor Harvelle, was walking into one of the rooms and hadn’t noticed him.  Doctor Winchester, however, had. Rather than head directly to the NICU, he detoured and made his way over to him instead.

 

“Doctor Winchester, I wanted to apologize for my behavior last week.  I fear that I was rude and aggressive towards you. It was not my intention to upset you.  I do not generally interact with people very often, despite my visits here. I do hope that you will forgive me.”

 

“It’s alright.  You seemed stressed at that moment.  Are you doing better now?” Sam asked.  A ghost of a smile crossed Castiel’s lips.

 

“I am.”  He fidgeted slightly before lifting his gaze to meet Sam’s.  The Alpha was struck by just how blue the Omega’s eyes were. “Did you by chance talk to your brother?”

 

“I did, actually.  He is interested in meeting you and talking with you.  Just talking.” Sam wanted him to know that his brother was not a danger.

 

“Why did he leave the other day?”  Castiel asked.

 

“I don’t think he realized you were his truemate.  He says he felt the pull, but he didn’t recognize it for what it was because you were so far apart.  He has asked to meet with you, so you can talk. If you’d like, I can call him and ask him to stop by the hospital.”

 

That conflicted look crossed over the Omega’s face again.

 

“It’s just talking,”  Sam repeated.

 

“I know.”  Castiel looked away, and Sam knew he was thinking whether it was a good idea.  Finally he gave a small nod. “That would be acceptable.”

 

“Alright.  We have a new pup that could really benefit from your help.  Come on, I’ll introduce you. She was born last night. You can’t pick her up yet, but you can touch her.  She needs to be touched as much as possible. Her Omega father passed away during the delivery and she has no mother.  There are no other members of the pack to nurture her, so please, give her as much attention as you possibly can.” Sam started walking towards the NICU, and Castiel fell in step beside him.

 

“What’s her name?”  Castiel asked.

 

“She doesn’t really have one.”  

 

“May I choose something to call her?”  

 

Sam smiled and nodded as they reached the first set of doors.  He held them open and they passed through them.

 

“I think that would be more than ok.  She needs a name. It will help her respond better.”

 

After washing up and taking the usual precautions, they entered the nursery itself.  Sam led him over to an incubator where a tiny pup lay on her stomach. Castiel’s mind flashed back to his Sadie for just a moment.  

 

“Oh, she’s beautiful…”  He reached through one of the openings to stroke her back.  She wiggled, turning her head as much as she could in an attempt to catch his scent.  He moved his hand closer to her face, careful not to bump her feeding tube or her cannula, and let her catch his scent.  Her little mouth formed an “o” that melted his heart and he brushed his thumb down her cheek. She was like a tiny angel.

 

“She was born six weeks premature.  We don’t think she’ll have too many complications.  She’ll thrive with lots of attention and affection,”  Sam said.

 

“I will come and spend as much time with her as I can.”  Castiel leaned down to look at her face. She was so tiny.  He knew she wanted to be picked up and held; she was squirming, trying to wriggle her way closer to him.  That was a good sign. As soon as he got the all clear, he would hold her for as long as they would approve it for.  

 

“Do you know what we should call her?”  Sam asked.

 

“Ella.  I think that will fit her nicely,”  Castiel replied. Sam smiled as he looked down at the tiny pup.  The name did seem to suit her.

 

“I think that’s perfect.”

 

He left Castiel to spend time with little Ella while he finished his rounds, stopping long enough to call Dean to let him know that Castiel was at the hospital, and that he’d agreed to talk to him.

 

“Did he seem upset?”  Dean asked nervously.

 

“No, not really.  Still a bit conflicted, and maybe a little nervous, but I assured him you just wanted to talk, nothing else.  Please don’t make me out to be a liar,” Sam pleaded.

 

“I really just want to talk, that’s all,”  Dean swore. “I’m leaving work now. I’m going home to shower, then I’ll be up there.  Give me an hour.”

 

“That’s fine.  He’s spending some much-needed time with one of our newest arrivals.  She needs a lot of TLC, and her Omega father died during delivery. There’s no other pack members to care for her, so he’s nurturing her so she’ll grow stronger.  It’s what he does here.” 

 

“That’s wonderful.  He sounds wonderful.  I can’t wait to meet him.”  Dean was smiling; Sam could hear it in his voice.  He hoped their first meeting went smoothly. 

 

“He’s a good man.  Drive safe, text me when you’re here.”

 

They hung up just as Sam’s pager went off.  A delivery. Well, Dean was on his own for meeting Castiel later.


	6. Chapter 6

Dean had texted Sam three times but hadn’t gotten a response, so he’d assumed someone had gone into labor, or there were complications with a patient, so he just headed straight up to Maternity.  He passed the nurses station where three Omega nurses were sitting, all of whom flashed him flirty smiles when he walked by. Through the next set of doors was the NICU, and the Maternity ICU. He quieted his steps as he made his way to the NICU window and peered in.  There was Castiel, sitting in the glider again with a pup pressed against his chest. He’d had his eyes closed but he seemed to sense the moment Dean arrived and they snapped open, locking on the Alpha and freezing him where he stood. Words were murmured to one of the nurses, then the pup was being taken and returned to its incubator.  Castiel stood slowly, buttoning his shirt as he headed for the door. 

 

The moment he pushed through the second set of doors and entered the hall, Dean felt that zing of electricity as if it were more of a zip, running up and down his spine, pulling him towards the Omega in front of him.  Castiel’s eyes were wide as he drew closer, ringed in gold and this close up, he was even more beautiful. Dean cleared his throat and forced his instincts aside. He’d promised himself, his brother, and Castiel that he would be a gentleman.

 

“Hi.  You’re Castiel, right?  I’m Dean Winchester. Sam is my younger brother.”

 

He offered his hand and for a moment Castiel just stared at it.  Finally he took it, shaking it firmly.

 

“Hello, Dean.  Please forgive my poor people skills, I lead a rather reclusive life and aside from interacting with these pups, I don’t talk with people very often.”

 

“That’s perfectly fine.  Would you be alright with getting some lunch?  I haven’t eaten yet.” Dean played absently with his lower lip while he waited for an answer.  Castiel smiled softly and nodded.

 

“That would be nice.  Where were you thinking?”

 

“Well, the cafeteria is way overpriced, and the food kind of sucks, but there’s a restaurant across the street that’s decent.  They have a really good burger, and the steak isn’t bad,” Dean replied.

 

“I like burgers.  And steak.” Castiel said.  Dean smiled. 

 

“We can walk; it’s right across the parking lot.”

 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

 

They were seated in a booth at the back, and due to the time of day, the place was fairly quiet.  Castiel’s eyes darted around nervously, taking in his surroundings before finally seeming to decide that this place was alright and he was safe.  He settled back against his seat and looked at Dean.

 

“So, how do you feel about this?”

 

“About us being truemates?  I’m ecstatic. I’ve always wanted to find mine.  I was starting to lose hope,” Dean admitted. The furrow between Cas’ brow worried him.

 

“I doubt that I am what you were expecting.”

 

“How do you know what I was expecting?”  Dean countered. “You haven’t taken the time to get to know me yet.”

 

Castiel narrowed his eyes as he studied the Alpha.  It felt like Dean was a bug under a microscope.

 

“What do you do for a living?”

 

“I’m a physical therapist.  I work mostly with pups born with birth defects or mobility issues,”  Dean replied. Castiel’s expression softened.

 

“Do you work at the hospital then?  I’m surprised that I have not seen you there before.”

 

“No, actually, I don’t.  I rotate between two therapy clinics.  One on Ferry and one on Earl. Mostly I fill in at the one on Earl when they have too many patients and not enough therapists.  I haven’t actually worked at the hospital in years,” Dean replied. He tilted his head and smiled softly. “Has your opinion of me improved at all?”

 

Castiel snorted softly and rolled his eyes.  “I never said it was a negative one to start with.  Why are you unmated?”

 

Blunt and to the point.  And with a painful question to boot.  Dean sighed. If this had any chance of working between them, he had to be completely honest.

 

“I was mated.  For one whole year.  She was a Beta. One day she decides she was going to ‘set me free,’ that she knew I wasn’t really in love with her, and then went about chemically breaking the bond, all before I even got a chance to wrap my head around what was going on.  In the course of two weeks my things were packed, I was kicked out of her house; I had to rent an apartment, and I was forced to experience the most excruciating pain of my entire life. Because she was having an affair.”

 

Castiel’s eyes widened.  “She wanted another mate?”

 

“That she did.  One that made a hell of a lot more money than me.  As soon as the chemical bond was broken between us, she mated him.  She’s still mated to him, nine years later. He gives her everything she wants, and she’s extremely greedy.  I couldn’t give her even a quarter of that. Because of her, I won’t consider bonding myself to anyone except my truemate.  So, if you don’t want me, I’m going to stay single. It’s better than being rejected like that again.” Dean shrugged. He couldn’t handle those eyes on him anymore, so he focused on the menu in front of him.  Slowly Castiel opened his menu too.

 

“What has Doctor Winchester told you about me?” the Omega asked after a minute of silence.

 

“Absolutely nothing, other than what you do for the pups in the NICU.”

 

“I see.  That is because I don’t talk with the hospital staff.  It was never my desire to become friends with them,” Castiel explained.  Dean looked up from his menu, sensing that this was something important. He waited for the other man to continue.

 

“When you make friends, they expect you to tell them about your life.  They want to know about your interests, your hobbies, your family, and they ask about your past.  I don’t have friends for exactly that reason. My life is my business. It’s not that I don’t  _ want _ friends, it’s that people ask too many questions. They pry where they have no business prying.  If I offer information, that is one thing, but to ask me question after question, especially when I say I do not wish to answer them, it is upsetting.  Such as dealing with that nurse the other day. Whenever I have approached the nurses station in the past I have never had an issue. Whomever I speak to, they are always polite and helpful, answering my question as efficiently as possible.  I intended to ask Nurse Mosely if she knew who you were, but the blonde nurse jumped up and began asking me why I wasn’t mated, and if I might be interested in getting drinks later, and telling me how good I smelled. It made me angry. I told her no repeatedly, and Nurse Mosely told her to back off and leave me alone, but she wasn’t listening.  They got into a fight about it, but Doctor Winchester arrived and put a stop to it. I was so upset I fear I snapped at him. I later apologized for my rudeness. As I told him, I do not socialize often, so my people skills are quite rusty. 

 

“I spent some time considering whether I wanted to speak with you.  At first I was going to say no, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that as truemates, there is a special bond between us, or at least, there’s supposed to be.  According to the lore that I researched on it, we’re supposed to be drawn to one another, and now that we’ve met, we’ll continue to be drawn back to one another. I find that thought rather intimidating.  I still fear that I am not what you were expecting. I’m a broken shadow of the person I once was. I don’t think I truly remember how to be happy anymore.”

 

Hearing that hurt Dean physically.  There was pain, both in Castiel’s eyes and on his face, and he reached tentatively across the table, raising an eyebrow in search of permission.  When the Omega gave the briefest of nods, he laid his hand down over Castiel’s.

 

“I don’t know what you’ve been through in your past, and I won’t pry.  Anything you want to tell me, I’ll accept, but I’ll never force anything out of you.  Living without friends though? That’s the loneliest kind of existence. Good friends, the kind that love you and stick by you?  Even when they know all your secrets, they still continue to love you. They don’t turn their back on you. Anyone that turned theirs on you was not a real friend.  You just haven’t found the right people. A good place to start though is my brother, Sam. You won’t find a more loyal friend than him. He’s my best friend, even if he’s my brother.  Missouri Mosely is another good choice. But if you want to get to know people outside the hospital, I know some amazing people that will want to meet you, since you’re my truemate and all.  Of course I’ll tell them to mind their own business. They don’t pry too much though. Mostly just the basic questions like where are you from, what do you do, that kind of stuff.”

 

“That doesn’t sound so bad; I believe I can handle that.”  Castiel smiled tentatively.

 

“So, can I ask what you do?”  Dean asked.

 

“Yes, of course you can,”  the Omega chuckled. He was finally relaxing a bit, warming up to the Alpha, and Dean was glad.  “I own the hospital. I don’t have to work; I have a board that runs it for me. I attend meetings when absolutely necessary.  Everything else, I do by teleconference.”

 

Dean sat in stunned silence, just staring for a long time.  His mate, his truemate, was a Novak. He’d thought they were all dead or mated off!

 

“I thought…”

 

“We were all dead?”  Castiel asked. Dean nodded slowly.

 

“Not quite.  You see, my great, great grandfather founded the hospital.  Actually, he founded about six in the area, but after the Civil War only two remained.  Both are still thriving. My sister Anna and I are the only living heirs. She inherited Mercy General; I inherited Grace General.”

 

“So what are you doing when you’re not at the hospital cradling pups?”  Dean asked.

 

“Writing, mostly.  I have written several books, though I have not published any of them.  I’m not sure they’re any good.” 

 

Dean leaned forward, smiling at him.  “My interest is piqued. What are they about?”

 

Their lunch turned out to be very nice, and Dean ended up liking Castiel more than he’d expected.  He’d been afraid the Omega would flat out reject him, or be weird like Sam had made him out to sound like, but once he’d warmed up some, he was a pretty normal guy.  A little formal in his speech, yes, and Dean quickly picked up on the fact that he’d likely spent most, if not all, of his formative years in boarding schools, not in the local public schools that he and Sam had attended.  So he was a bit socially awkward. It didn’t give him a reason not to like the guy.

 

He didn’t pry into why Castiel visited the NICU.  If that was something he wanted to share later, Dean would listen, but for now he was more interested in learning the man’s quirks and interests without seeming like he was just trying to be nosey for the sake of being nosey.  When he asked about favorite movies, Castiel had tilted his head, giving him the most adorable confused expression.

 

“I don’t understand, why would you want to know what movies I like?  Is that important?”

 

“Of course it’s important!  It gives me an idea of what type of person you are, how your mind ticks, what interests you.  Are you a ‘Like Water for Chocolate’ kind of guy or an ‘Air Force One’ type of guy? Me, I prefer Star Wars and Die Hard.”  Dean had been enthusiastic in his pitch, earning another pleased smile from Castiel.

 

“I’m afraid I am more of a documentary type of person, and not hospital documentaries, if that was what you were thinking.  I’m not a doctor, I’m simply a stockholder with the largest share. I like bees. And cats. I watch documentaries about conservation efforts, about saving the rainforests, the oceans, I’m fascinated by nature.”

 

“Like Planet Earth?  I watched that series, it was really good,”  Dean said. Castiel’s smile widened.

 

“Yes, it was very good.  It is the closest I’ve gotten to any of those places.  They’re all so beautiful.”

 

Dean frowned.  Castiel was rich, and he had never traveled?

 

“Why haven’t you gone to any of them?  You could have at any time. Still could.”

 

“I can’t.  I have an obligation to the pups.  I can’t abandon them.” Castiel replied firmly.  There was something there, something Dean wasn’t quite catching, but he had an idea that his brother was right.  Castiel had lost someone.

 

“I understand that.  Do you talk to them about the things you see in the documentaries?  I’ve heard it’s good for their development.”

 

Castiel relaxed again as he nodded.  “I talk to them. Sometimes I sing softly.  I know they’re trying to live when I hear their little purrs rumbling in their chests.  That little fight in them, that spark, that’s what I try to encourage. They’re the one bright spot in my otherwise dull life.”

 

“Cas…”  Dean took his hand again, glad when the Omega did not resist.  He simply looked at where their skin touched, and the Alpha wondered when the last time was that he’d been touched by someone that wasn’t a newborn pup in need of saving.  By someone that genuinely desired him.

 

“Please give me a chance, Cas.  I just want the chance to maybe make your life a little less dull.”

 

Castiel smiled and turned his hand over so he could slide their fingers together.  “Oh, but you already have. This is the first lunch I’ve had out with another person in probably…two years, and that one was with my sister.  This has been a very pleasant afternoon. I’m just worried that you will be disappointed in me. I’m not a social butterfly, I’m awkward, I can be rude, though it’s usually on accident, I’m blunt, brutally honest, and I’m really not the best company.”

 

“I’ve had a great afternoon too, Cas.  I say we should go on some more dates. You pick the next one.  If you want to sit at home and watch a documentary, we’ll do that.  I’ll make dinner, we’ll watch the history of the Incan civilization.  If you want to try some new Italian restaurant you saw, we’ll do that.  Whatever you want to do.” Dean waited eagerly to hear what he would suggest.  Castiel thought for a moment before his face lit up, his blue eyes brightening as he smiled.

 

“How about bowling?”

 

 

  



	7. Chapter 7

Two nights later Dean found himself standing in a bowling alley wearing rented shoes and watching Castiel whip his ball down the lane like a pro.  At first he’d been kind of disappointed that this was the type of place the Omega had chosen for their second date, but then he’d gotten the pleasure of seeing the man as he bent over to retrieve his ball, or when he went to throw it.  That alone made the possible threat of athlete’s foot worthwhile. He was a pretty good player himself, having played on a league for several years with his coworkers, and he gave Castiel a good run for his money. It was fun, and he could smell the happiness on the Omega. He liked that a lot.

 

After playing three games, they decided to go get something better to eat than what was being served there, so they turned in their shoes and left.  They had taken Dean’s car and Castiel was quite taken by it, talking about the history behind the Chevy brand, and the manufacturing of the Impala, specifically in the year 1967.  Dean listened in delight to every word. He knew it all, but it was exciting knowing Castiel knew this information too. 

 

They found a small pizza place with outdoor seating and, after placing their order, were seated outside.  There was a nice breeze and Dean found himself staring as it brushed through Castiel’s hair, making it look even more windblown than it already did.  He was truly beautiful when he was happy and content like he was right now.

 

“You’re really good at bowling.  How good is your team?” Castiel asked.

 

“We came in third place last year.  I admit, bowling wasn’t what I expected you to choose, but I had a lot of fun tonight.  We could use your skills on our team.” Dean smiled and preened when a pleased scent slipped into Castiel’s normal one.  He smelled even more amazing than usual.

 

“I’m not league material, though I think perhaps watching you play would be nice.”

 

“I’d like that.  Sometimes Sam and his mate come to watch, but not very often.”  

 

“You and Sam are close?”  Castiel took a sip of the water their server had left for them as Dean nodded.

 

“Yeah, very.  We lost our mom 12 years back, and our dad didn’t handle her death very well.  A chemical break is bad enough, but losing your mate to death? It’s agonizing.  He ended up in the hospital, but they knew how to treat him and he was fine after a few days.  Well, except for his broken heart. Two years later he met Kate. We didn’t even know he’d met someone new until he showed up to a family dinner with her.  They’d already mated, and we had a new stepmom. She’s great though. They have a pup together, our brother Adam. He’s the cutest little thing, just turned six last month.  I try to spend time with him when I can. There’s so much of an age gap though that I feel more like I’m an uncle to him than a brother, but I still love the kid and I try to be there for him.”

 

“That’s good.  He needs that. I have a sister, but I told you that.  Anna is older than me by six years. She’s an Alpha and rather protective.  I’ve not told her about you yet. Once I do, she’ll demand to meet you, and then you’ll go through an interrogation.  I’d rather not subject you to that yet. We grew up at home until each of us were six, so basically her memories of me are clearer than mine are of her as I was still just a newborn when she was shipped off to boarding school on the east coast.  I grew up alone at home, only seeing her at holidays and on summer vacation. Then it was time for me to start school.

 

“I attended the same boarding school, and it allowed me finally to develop a real connection with my sister.  She was 12, I was six, but she watched over me and kept me safe. I was a bit of a math and science protégé, and I earned a reputation for being able to complete math equations in my head, outsmarting all of the professors.  I was accused of cheating more than a few times before the staff realized I could actually complete complicated mathematical equations faster and more efficiently than even they could. It also earned me a reputation as a loser and my fellow students made fun of me every chance they got.  I spent a lot of time with the school nurse because of injuries sustained by bullies. Anna spent a lot of time in detention for beating those bullies up.

 

“Then Anna was off to school in France to do high school.  She was there when she presented, and I was happy that she’d presented as an Alpha.  I missed her though. When she returned, she had a degree from Oxford, spoke four languages, and was extremely sophisticated.  Everything that was expected of a Novak. She’s now mated with two children. Her son, Seth, is eleven and her daughter, Miriam, is eight.  I suppose Anna and I are close. We talk regularly, about more than just business. I visit her family at the holidays and sometimes she and the children will come over to my place.  Seth likes bees too.”

 

Dean found that endearing.  “Do you raise bees?”

 

“No, but I’ve thought about it.  I love them but I admit, I’m a little scared of them at the same time.  I have a healthy respect for them. Do you think I should? For the sake of conservation?”  Castiel asked.

 

“I do.  It will help the environment, help rebuild the bee populations, and help crops everywhere.  But if you intend to plant wildflowers for them to use as food, don’t use ones with neonicotinoids.  Those will kill them,” Dean said.

 

“Yes, I read that.  I would be very careful.  There is much planning that goes into bee husbandry.  One cannot just launch into it without all of the proper tools, unless they like getting stung, which I do not.”  Castiel grimaced at the thought. 

 

“You’re an intelligent man.  Make a list of everything you will need.  Research the items, the best locations to put the hives as well as the right time of year to set them up, and what types of plants and flowers they like the most.  Different flowers affect the taste of the honey. If you want it sweeter, you plant clover,” Dean explained.

 

“How do you know so much about bees?”  Castiel asked, tilting his head again in that way Dean was quickly beginning to find adorable.

 

“I like them too, but it just so happens that my truemate said  _ he _ likes bees, so after our lunch the other day, I went home and spent about six hours researching anything and everything that has to do with bees.  They’re absolutely fascinating, and incredibly social.”

 

Castiel’s smile was bright enough to light up a room, and it made Dean’s heart soar.  He felt that charge again, as if the air between them was crackling, and those beautiful blue eyes were suddenly ringed in gold.  They widened in surprise as he pointed at Dean’s own eyes.

 

“Your eyes are red!  I  _ was _ seeing right at the hospital that day!  You are pleased? I make you happy?”

 

“Yes, Cas, you make me happy,”  Dean replied, chuckling at the Omega’s disbelief.  Castiel’s expression turned serious. The sudden change in his personality threw the Alpha, but he was starting to get used to the man’s quirks.

 

“You should know, I have never been properly courted before.”

 

Dean tried to keep his expression neutral and not let his surprise show.  No one had courted this beautiful, amazing man before? Was Castiel  _ that _ selective?  Or were Alphas just that ignorant?

 

“Am I allowed to ask why?”

 

That furrow was back between the Omega’s brows and he was fidgeting with his napkin.

 

“At this point, I would rather not say.”

 

“But you might later on?”

 

Castiel looked up at him through his lashes and gave a tiny nod.  “When I feel I can trust you more. I am enjoying my time with you, but some parts of my past, I know I should share if I’m to take a mate, but they are difficult to talk about.  I need time.”

 

Dean found his hands and held them gently in his own.  So far, it had been their only form of intimacy, and he was alright with that.

 

“That’s ok.  I told you, tell me what you want, and in your own time.  I won’t force anything on you.”

 

“Thank you, Dean, you have no idea how much that means to me.”  Castiel looked at him gratefully. Dean smiled, wishing he could just kiss him.  Maybe one day soon he would be able to.

 

“For my mate?  Anything.”

 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

 

Sam had just come from delivery and was heading for his office when he spotted Castiel heading for the NICU.  The Omega noticed him and actually smiled and waved.

 

“Hello, Doctor Winchester.”

 

“Hey, Castiel.  How are you today?”  Sam detoured away from his office and made his way towards the NICU where Castiel was standing, looking in the window.

 

“I am well, thank you for asking.  There are fewer incubators. Please tell me there weren’t any deaths.”

 

“No, no, none at all.  We had two pups go home.  Hope and Truman. Both were strong enough, thanks to you.  Ella’s moving more. She’s growing stronger. You can pick her up now; she needs it,”  Sam said.

 

“That’s excellent news. I look forward to doing so.” Castiel hesitated a moment before turning to look at him. “Dean says you and your mate, Eileen, are very nice people, and that I should talk to you more.  So if that’s alright with you, I’d like to. I…don’t have any friends, save for perhaps Dean.”

 

“Your mate should always be your best friend.  Eileen is mine. Of course we can be friends. If you ever want to go get coffee, just let me know.”  Sam smiled warmly and was pleased to see Castiel smile back. Since Dean had come into the man’s life he seemed much less sad.  A weight seemed to have been lifted off his shoulders.

 

“I would like that.  How do you feel about bees?”  Castiel asked.

 

“Uh…”  Sam gave a little shrug.  “I think they’re vital to the survival of the human species and we need to save them?”

 

The Omega beamed up at him.  “Yes! Exactly!”

 

He turned and walked into the NICU, going to prepare himself so he could get ready to begin handling the pups.  Sam shook his head in puzzlement as he walked to his office, pulling his phone out to text Dean.

 

**Sam:**  Your Omega is especially weird today.  Happy, but weirder than usual. It’s a good weird though.  I think.

 

It was a good 15 minutes before Dean finally responded.

 

**Dean:**  Sorry, was with a client.  CP. He’s been a lot happier since we met.  We just talk about whatever and he’s opening up.  I really like him. I don’t think he’s weird. That’s mostly the boarding school education speaking.  He’s formal in his speech but he’s fun, and he’s sweet.

 

**Sam:**  He asked me to be his friend.

 

**Dean:**  So be his friend.  He doesn’t have any.

 

**Sam:**  That’s sad.

 

**Dean:**  He doesn’t trust people not to pry into his past, so don’t ask him a ton of questions about his past.  It’s no one’s business except his. If he wants to tell you, that’s up to him. Don’t be nosey, you have a bad habit of trying to diagnose people.  Don’t do that with him; he’s probably smarter than you and he’ll see right through it.

 

**Sam:**  Thanks for the warning.  I’ll stick to casual convo. You guys planning to mate?

 

**Dean:**  We haven’t discussed it yet.  Don’t rush things.

 

**Sam:**  You’re right. I’m sorry.

 

**Dean:**   Gotta run, next client is here.

 

**Sam:** Ok, catch you later.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

It happened that on Castiel’s next visit to the hospital he asked Sam if he would like to get coffee down in the cafeteria. After he’d had a lovely afternoon cuddling the pups that needed his affection the most, he was high on endorphins and in a very pleasant mood.  They took their drinks, Castiel adding a slice of pie to his order, and found a table at the back to sit and talk.

 

“Ella seemed very responsive today,”  Sam said. Castiel smiled and nodded.

 

“She was.  She was cooing and trying to purr.  That’s a very important sign of growth and development.  She tried to nurse too.” He chuckled. “Nurse Davis was very excited about that.  She says Ella’s feeding tube may get to come out sooner than expected if she’s able to swallow.”

 

“That’s excellent news.  Doctor Fitzgerald has been giving me updates on the NICU pups, and he has had nothing but good things to say about Ella.  He says she’s a fighter.” Sam didn’t handle care of the pups once he delivered them, but he did like checking in on them from time to time.  Garth Fitzgerald was the pediatric doctor, and they had been friends since they’d both started at the hospital. Garth kept him updated on whatever pups worried him the most. He was thrilled that Ella was thriving like she was.

 

“Do you and your mate have pups?”  Castiel asked.

 

“Not yet.  We’re thinking about having one in the next couple of years though.  She’s feeling the pull to start nesting stronger now than when we first mated.  We’re at a good place so I figure if it happens, we’re more than ready,” Sam replied.  Castiel sipped at his coffee, his expression thoughtful.

 

“Have you ever considered adopting one of the abandoned pups?”

 

“I have, actually.  My mate is particularly interested in the possibility of us adopting one that is hearing impaired.  One of the pups that moved from here into foster care about six months ago, Logan Murphy, do you remember him?  He has been discovered to be almost completely deaf. My mate is deaf as well and while we do want biological pups of our own, we’ve been talking with the adoption agency about him.  No one else is interested in him because of his disability,” Sam explained. “I think he would fit in perfectly in our family, so does Eileen.”

 

Castiel smiled.  “Logan was a sweet pup.  I’m sure he would fit in with your family beautifully.”

 

Sam sipped at his coffee, wondering what other small talk he could bring up.  He didn’t want to ask about pups as he sensed it was a sensitive subject, so he took a chance and brought up Dean.

 

“Your meeting with Dean went well I take it?”

 

“Oh yes, he’s very nice.  Nicer than I had expected.  We went bowling,” Castiel replied.

 

“Really?  Did he tell you that he’s on a league?  He surprised me when they talked him into joining.  Dean used to be the type of guy that spent his time in bars playing pool and darts, or under the hood of his car.  Now he’s more of a homebody. He still spends a lot of time working on cars, it’s his favorite hobby, but the bar scene is behind him these days.  Guess he traded it in for bowling shoes.” Sam chuckled. Castiel smiled softly.

 

“I had fun.  It has been a long time since I’ve gone out anywhere like that.  Aside from visits here, or to see my sister, or if I need to go to the store, I really don’t get out much.  I’d forgotten how enjoyable an evening out could be when I don’t have to be forced to socialize with a ton of other people.  There were others there, but I only had to talk with Dean. That was acceptable. He suggested that we should try mini golf soon.  I am agreeable to that. It has been a long time since I’ve played that.”

 

“Me too.  Not since I was maybe 12.  It was this crazy course with pirate ships and other things.  Our dad won. Dean and I both lost horribly.” Sam laughed. “Our mom lost just as bad.  Dad barely won. It was a really hard course to play. Dean kept losing his balls in this pond.”

 

Castiel’s smile widened.  “That’s funny. I remember a windmill when I played as a boy.  It was a family vacation, and my sister Anna took me to play one afternoon.  We had a lot of fun trying to see who could get the better score. I won two games, she won three before we went to get hot dogs and return to our hotel.  I was 10, she was 16. It’s one of my fondest memories of her.”

 

“Dean and I have a little brother, Adam.  He’s just a pup, but I think that when he’s a little bigger, he’d like to play mini golf.  Right now he’s into anything and everything that has to do with baseball or dancing. He’s a very active kid.”  

 

Castiel was impressed.  “He sounds energetic. I was too at that age, though I was encouraged to play instruments, not sports.  Still, I played soccer because I wanted to. It was my favorite sport. Always has been.”

 

“I like soccer.  I love watching FIFA,”  Sam said.

 

That gave them something neutral and safe to talk about, and they discussed their favorite teams, predictions for the World Cup, and which teams they thought might win in the next Olympics.  By the end of their conversation, Sam’s lunch break was over and he had to go back upstairs. They said goodbye and Castiel left, still smiling, something Sam had never seen him do before. Happiness was a good look on him.

 

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Castiel was stubborn, to put it mildly, and ok, more than a little eccentric.  He wasn’t fully agreeing to let Dean court him, but he wasn’t telling him to stay away either, and sometimes the Alpha didn’t know whether he was coming or going.  He’d call the man up only to be told Castiel didn’t have the time to see him right then. Sometimes this would last for weeks at a time before suddenly, out of the blue he’d call Dean and ask him to meet him somewhere for dinner.  After several months of this, Dean began to decipher a pattern. He’d started marking his calendar and realized Castiel was declining his invitations to go out during his heats. So he marked the next one on his calendar and avoided bothering the Omega during it, settling for simply texting him now and then to let him know he was thinking of him.  When he was sure it was over, he messaged him to ask if he wanted to have dinner, and Castiel happily said yes.

 

Dean had finally, after three months of meeting Castiel either at the hospital or at the places they were having dinner, been allowed to start coming to pick him up at his house.  He hadn’t been sure what to expect when he’d first been given the address and programmed it into his phone to get the directions, but he hadn’t really been all that surprised to find that the Omega lived in a modest house in a quiet neighborhood not far from the hospital.  For someone as wealthy as he was, Castiel did not flaunt his money around. Dean was willing to bet that most of that state of the art medical equipment in the NICU was paid for by the Omega himself.

 

He pulled up in the driveway and parked.  The stone path leading up to the stairs he knew was one that Castiel had carefully laid out himself, he’d said as much.  It was beautiful and as he crossed over the tiny glass bumblebees that had been added into the design, a smile passed over his lips.  Moments like this were when he saw into the Omega’s heart, and he could glimpse his soul. 

 

As he climbed the stairs he spied the new planters on the porch, filled with pansies, impatiens, and other flowers he recognized but didn’t remember the names of.  They were pretty. He rang the bell and waited.

 

Castiel looked a bit harried as he opened the door, which put Dean on alert.  

 

“Everything ok?” the Alpha asked.

 

“Yes, and no.  Mostly yes. My sister called me last night.  Someone at the hospital called her and told her I was seeing someone.”  Castiel’s expression was pinched, but his scent wasn’t reflecting the worry Dean had expected.

 

“I’m a bit confused.  Care to fill me in?” 

 

Castiel’s expression softened.  “Of course. I spoke with her honestly.  She worries and she is protective, but I told her I do not need her protection in this matter.  We argued briefly because she insisted on meeting you but I told her that if I haven’t reached a point where there has been any form of intimacy with you, then she is  _ not _ getting to meet you.  Not until  _ I _ say she can.  She was less than pleased.”

 

Dean’s heart and stomach seemed to be at war with one another, both fluttering about at the mention of intimacy.  Since they’d met, the only “intimacy” they’d had was barely touching one another’s hands across the table top at dinner on occasion.  Most of the time it felt like he was taking his best friend to dinner, not his mate, but he was patient. Castiel was worth it. 

 

“I-intimacy?”  He asked, unable to hide that little spark of hopefulness from his voice.  

 

“Well, yes.  We haven’t even kissed yet,”  Castiel replied matter of factly.

 

“Cas, you technically haven’t even agreed to let me court you,”  Dean said softly. “This, I’m cool with, anything that makes you comfortable. I would never, ever push you, you know that, but you know where I stand on the issue of mating.  I am hoping you’ll say yes one day.”

 

Castiel stood there looking at him, and there was so much conflict in his eyes it pained Dean to see it.  He looked on the verge of saying no, and all of the fluttering the Alpha had felt a moment ago faded away, leaving his stomach with a horrible sour feeling.

 

“Oh.”

 

“Dean…”

 

In that moment, he knew.  Castiel either wasn’t ready to be his mate or, more likely, he would never  _ be _ ready.  It would be torture to keep doing this.  He took a step back towards the door. The Omega’s eyes widened with a mixture of fear and shock.  He took a few steps towards the Alpha.

 

“Please, don’t leave.”  His voice was softer than ever before, pleading, and it froze Dean where he stood.

 

“Cas, I’ve only ever wanted my mate, you know that.  I-I don’t know that I can take a rejection…”

 

Castiel took a deep breath and walked the last few feet until he right in front of him.  This close up there wasn’t that much of a height difference. Dean only had a few inches up on him.  He cupped the Alpha’s face and looked into his eyes, making sure he had the man’s full attention.

 

“I am not rejecting you, do you understand me?  But there are things I am not ready to talk about yet.  I’m still uncertain that you would truly want me as your mate.  I have concluded that to know whether you would or not, we will have to talk about my past at some point, as much as I loathe the very thought, but it will be the only way for me to know for sure.  Once we talk about that then I suppose we can discuss the matter of courtship and possibility of mating. Perhaps tonight we should stay in. I will order us some dinner and we will talk.”

 

Dean managed a small nod but didn’t say anything as Castiel released his hold on his face.  They remained standing close, staring into one another’s eyes though.

 

“Your eyes are quite beautiful.  So many different shades of green all mixed together.  I quite like it.”

 

One corner of Dean’s mouth quirked upwards in a small smile.

 

“Yours are the perfect shade of blue.  I think you’re gorgeous, eyes and all, if I’m being honest.”

 

Castiel’s cheeks flushed a rosy pink but he smiled.  “Really?”

 

“Yes, really.”

 

“Would you…I mean, do you  _ want _ to kiss me?”  The Omega’s eyes were large as saucers as he looked up at him.  The flutters were back in Dean’s stomach again and his heart was back to racing in his chest.  He nodded and swallowed before trying to speak.

 

“I really do want to.”

 

“I’ve not been kissed in a very, very long time.  I would like that very much.” Castiel whispered as he moved closer, closing the distance between them.  Dean watched his eyes flutter shut before he leaned in to kiss him softly. He slid one hand gently into the hair on the back of the Omega’s head, and placed the other on the small of his back as their lips parted and then came back together again, this time more firmly.  

 

There were no tongues, no teeth, no arousal permeating the air, and yet it felt like the most perfect first kiss either of them had ever experienced.  They were both left smiling softly when it was finished.

 

“Whatever you want to talk to me about, Cas, it’s not going to change how I feel about you.  I’ve fallen in love with you. Even if you reject me, it won’t change that.” Dean pressed one more soft kiss to the stunned Omega’s lips.

 

“You…love me?”

 

“Yeah.  I see all of the things you don’t say, the little details that make you… _ you _ , and that’s what I’ve fallen in love with.  You’re beautiful, Cas, inside and out. I may not know your past, but I know the person you are now, and that’s the person I love.”  Dean still had his hand in Castiel’s hair and he scratched lightly at the base of his neck. It was a gesture mates did for one another, which they weren’t. Yet.  But he wasn’t being pushed away.

 

“You are a very incredible man, Dean.  Come, let us order food and talk.” Castiel took him by the hand and led him over to the couch.  They sat down together, closer than usual, and a drawer in the coffee table Dean hadn’t noticed was opened and a folder full of menus was withdrawn.

 

“Cas, do you not cook?”  Dean asked.

 

“Not often, no.”  Castiel admitted as he rifled through the menus, picking out ones he was interested in.

 

“Honey, why don’t you let me cook for you then?  Instead of take out.”

 

The Omega looked up at him in surprise.  “Really?”

 

“Yes.  Keep me company while I cook.  You can talk about whatever is on your mind, and I’ll make us something delicious to eat.”  Dean took the folder from his hands and tucked it back in the drawer. “You  _ do _ have food in the fridge, right?”

 

“Yes, I do.”  Castiel smiled.  “Though most of it’s in the freezer.  There’s a bag of potatoes, and some cans of soup.  Oh, and some ground beef-”

 

“Yes!  I’ll make burgers!”  Dean declared. 

 

“It’s frozen.”  Castiel frowned.

 

“So we’ll have burgers late, that’s all.  Let’s get started on defrosting it. Do you have buns?”  Dean was on his feet and heading for the kitchen. Castiel was right on his heels.

 

“No, nor do I have cheese.”  

 

Dean stopped in the kitchen with his hands on his hips.  “I think we should go shopping.”

 

“Now?”  Castiel asked incredulously.

 

“We need cheese, Cas.  And if we have fresh meat and buns, we’ll eat sooner.  I bet you’d like some salad to go with it too.”

 

“I would, actually…”

 

“Then it’s settled.  We’re going shopping.”  Dean headed for the door.  Castiel couldn’t help but smile as he followed after him.


	9. Chapter 9

Shopping with Dean Winchester was a whole new experience.  They bought way more than just the food for that night’s meal. Dean insisted on stocking his cabinets with good-to-eat foods that were healthy, and promised to come and cook for him regularly so none of it would go to waste.  Castiel agreed, sitting at the island and watching with interest as Dean set about making homemade burgers and a rice with quinoa blend for dinner. 

 

“So, start talking.  What is on your mind, handsome?”  Dean glanced up in time to see him smiling.  Apparently the Omega liked being told he was attractive.  He’d have to do it more often.

 

“What…do you expect?  Of mating? Beyond the basics of the bond itself.  I want to know what you expect of  _ me _ .”  

 

Dean ran his tongue over his canines as he formed the burger patties and worked out in his head exactly what he wanted to say.  The last thing he wanted was to ruin things with Castiel.

 

“Well, for starters, let’s not think of it in terms of expectations.  Your sister is mated, right?”

 

“Yes.”  Castiel squinted, tilting his head curiously, wondering where Dean was going with this.

 

“Well, tell me what their relationship is like.  She’s the Alpha, so what is he, Omega or Beta?” Dean asked.

 

“He’s an Omega.  Their relationship is…”  Castiel paused, thinking about it.  “It’s nice. There is give and take in it.  He cares as much for her as she does for him, and they work together to care for their family.”

 

“What does Anna expect of him?”  

 

Castiel blinked, surprised by the question, and realizing that his own concerns over what Dean might want from him were actually quite silly.  

 

“Nothing.  She doesn’t expect anything.  I get what you’re saying. You don’t expect anything from me.”

 

“Exactly.”  Dean winked and grinned when the Omega blushed and turned away.  There was a smile playing at the corner of the man’s mouth though, so at least he wasn’t upset.  “Though I can at least  _ hope _ you’ll care about me one day as much as I care about you.”

 

Those blue eyes were staring at him again, so bright and beautiful it was difficult to focus on the cooking.

 

“I do care about you, Dean, very much.  I am careful with my affections. For a very long time I refused to accept the attention of anyone that showed an interest in me.  I thought I was in love once. Now, I’m not sure it was love. I believe it was nothing more than infatuation. What I feel now for you is something different.  It’s…deeper, and that worries me. I never expected that I would find my truemate. I expected to live out my life alone and give the hospital over to one of Anna’s pups in my will.  The idea that I might find the kind of love that she has? It never once crossed my mind. I never thought I deserved it.”

 

Castiel folded his hands on the countertop and took a cleansing breath.

 

“I’ve been going to therapy.  I used to go, for many years, but for a different reason.  When you came into my life, I called my therapist up and arranged to start going again.  She has been encouraging me to open up and talk with you more because healthy relationships require sharing and honesty.”

 

“She’s right.  I appreciate that you are sharing with me about your therapy.  Like I’ve said before, I’ll never force you to do anything you’re not ready for.  I want this to work for us, Cas.” Dean got the burgers into a pan on the stove and then washed his hands.  After drying them, he came around the island to stand in front Castiel. There was nothing more he wanted than to make this beautiful Omega his, but he wouldn’t push.  

 

“I do too.  I am aware that I can be…difficult.  I’m not the ideal Omega, but I want to be what you need.”  Castiel leaned towards him on instinct, drawn to the Alpha and his gentle nature.  Dean was wonderful, something truly special. The fingers that came to brush through his hair dragged a contented rumble up from his chest, startling them both.  

 

“You’re not difficult, not to me.  I don’t care what others think, and you shouldn’t either.”

 

He kissed Castiel again, mostly because he could see it on the Omega’s face how much he wanted for him to, and then went to flip the burgers.  When the food was finished, he put the salad together and together they carried everything to the kitchen table. 

 

“This is delicious.  I much prefer this to takeout, or pre-manufactured food.”  Castiel groaned appreciatively around his second bite of burger and smiled when he caught the Alpha’s eye.  His own eyes sparkled, and it made Dean smile. He loved seeing Castiel so relaxed and happy. Sure, he hadn’t gotten to learn why exactly the Omega thought he wasn’t mating material, but one day soon he hoped there would be the trust there between them so he’d feel safe opening up and telling Dean the parts of his past that made him feel so broken.  From where the Alpha stood, he saw nothing broken at all. He wished he could just get Castiel to see it that way.

 

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“So, how long exactly have you been seeing this Alpha?”  Anna lifted her cup of tea and peered at her brother over the rim before taking a sip.  

 

“Almost six months now.”

 

“Six months, and you still haven’t introduced me.  Are you telling me you haven’t gotten intimate yet?”  She arched one eyebrow as she set the cup back on the table and broke a piece off her croissant.

 

“We have not.  I…” He looked away, the shame and guilt washing over him.  Anna’s expression immediately softened, and she quickly reached out to touch his hand.

 

“Hey, you’ve told me how sweet he is.  You can’t expect every Alpha to react like a frightened 15-year-old under the pressure of their parents to do as they’re told, ok?  Dean has no one telling him what to do. His feelings for you are genuine. The way he feels about you, it can’t be just chased away because someone tells him he can’t be with you.  How is the courtship going? Is he romantic?”

 

“I haven’t agreed to it yet.”  It slipped out as a whine, and he looked up pathetically at her.  For a moment she just gaped at him.

 

“Cassie!  You’re making this poor Alpha just pine for you?  He wants you as his mate, he has stated his intentions, declared his affections, asked to court you, and you’re just like ‘mmm, maybe later’?!  What is going on in that head of yours?!” she cried. Castiel’s eyes darted around the small café where they’d chosen to meet, worrying that her outburst had drawn unwanted attention, but no one was looking their way.  He met her disbelieving gaze again, feeling shame and embarrassment at her judgement. She of all people knew his reasons  _ why _ he would hesitate.  Courtships led to bonds, and bonds were forever.

 

“Anna, I haven’t told him.”

 

Anna sat quietly, staring at him for a long time before shifting her gaze to the people outside that were passing by the window.

 

“What  _ does _ he know?  Anything?”

 

“About my past?  Nothing.”

 

“That’s stupid, Castiel.  If he is going to be your mate, your partner in life and your protector, he has a right to know.”

 

Castiel frowned and stared into his cup of coffee.  He hated when she was right.

 

“What if I can’t give him what he wants?”

 

“Have you even asked him what he wants?” she countered.  In truth, he hadn’t. He didn’t know if Dean wanted pups, if he wanted a house in the country, a condo in a high rise, a yacht trip in the Pacific, he just had no idea because he’d deliberately not asked.  He needed to, though, and soon.

 

“No, I’ve been afraid to,” he admitted.  Her expression was sympathetic.

 

“I understand, but you also don’t know for certain that you can’t.  If this is something concerning you, maybe you should go back and see your doctor.  Ease your mind, or at least get the answers that will let you know where you and Dean will stand on mating.  But honestly? If he loves you and you love him, I don’t think anything else will matter.”

 

Castiel sipped at his tea and looked out the window again.  He dreaded the coming conversation he would need to have with Dean.  It was necessary, and he doubted the Alpha would reject him the way he feared.  This was his own worry he was projecting, and it wasn’t fair. He wasn’t giving Dean the chance he deserved because his own brain was still resisting the need to talk about the past.  It had to stop. They needed to talk. First though, Anna was right, he needed to see his doctor. His stomach twisted at the thought.

 

“I will schedule an appointment to see my doctor.”

 

His sister smiled softly.  “Good. For your own peace of mind.”

 

He wasn’t sure anything would give him that.


	10. Chapter 10

Castiel was leaving the hospital, walking to his car when he heard a familiar voice calling his name.  Looking around, he spotted Sam waving as he walked towards him. He stayed where he was and waited for the doctor to reach him.

 

“Hey, Cas, I didn’t know you were here.  Did you spend time with the pups? I didn’t see you in the nursery today,”  Sam greeted him.

 

“No, actually, I had a doctor’s appointment.  I thought about visiting the pups but I was just there yesterday, and I have some errands I must run.”

 

“Everything alright?”  Sam asked, concern leaking into his scent.  Castiel smiled, wanting to reassure his friend.

 

“Yes, and now I have to go get some things for dinner.  Dean is coming over this evening, and I am making dinner.  We’re going to be discussing some important things tonight.”  

 

“Oh, that’s…nice.”  Sam wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say to that, but it seemed to be the right thing because Castiel’s smile widened.

 

“May I ask you a question, Sam?  As a friend?”

 

“Sure, what is it?”  Sam asked. For a long moment the Omega seemed to consider his words carefully before he spoke.

 

“Is there anything that would have made you  _ not _ want to mate?  With Eileen specifically.  If she had any…issues.”

 

Sam wasn’t sure what he was getting at, but he suspected he was referring to his own situation with Dean.  He was afraid there was something about himself he thought Dean might not like. That showed a lack of faith in his brother.  Dean was so far gone on Castiel there was no coming back.

 

“No.  You realize my mate is deaf, right?  I didn’t know sign language when we met; I had to learn it in order to communicate with her.  She was worth it, though.”

 

“What if it was something else though?”  Castiel asked. “Something you couldn’t get around, like a language barrier?”

 

“I don’t understand.  If you love someone, you find a way to be with them.  Do you love Dean?”

 

The soft look in the Omega’s eyes spoke volumes about how he felt for his Alpha.  “I do. I wasn’t sure what I felt at first really was love, but it is. It’s the first time I’ve ever really experienced it.  I do love him, very much. I’m just so afraid to lose him.”

 

“You won’t lose him, unless you tell him you don’t want to let him court you.  That will break his heart. He wants to mate you more than anything in the world.  I think that even if you told him you were a serial killer, he’d  _ still _ want to mate you,  _ that’s _ how much he loves you,” Sam said.  

 

“Well, it’s a very good thing that I am not one.  I couldn’t even become a doctor; I hate the sight of blood,” Castiel joked. Sam found himself laughing, more surprised than anything at hearing the man being humorous.  He’d never heard him crack a joke in all the years he’d known him. Dean was having a very positive effect on his personality. Castiel smirked, his scent revealing how pleased he was at earning Sam’s reaction.

 

“But seriously, have your talk with him.  Woo him, show him how much you care, and tell him how you feel.  Alphas need to take care of their Omegas but I’ll let you in on a little secret; we like to be taken care of too.  Dean more than most. Don’t let him fool you.” Sam winked and began walking to his car. Today was an early day and he couldn’t wait to go home and take a nice, long nap before Eileen got home from work.

 

“Thank you, Sam, I do try.  I will see you next week.” Castiel gave a brief wave of the hand before walking to his car and getting in.  

 

Baby steps.  His therapist had told him to take this in baby steps.  Trying to talk to Dean about everything all at once would be too overwhelming, so she recommended he do it in little bits, taking breaks in between to talk about other things.  As long as Dean played by the rules, everything would be just fine and he could tell him most, if not all, of it tonight without having a full blown panic attack, but even if he did, he had a prescription to help calm his nerves in case he became too anxious. First things first, he had a romantic dinner to plan, one Dean was not expecting.  Tonight, wine, roasted-garlic baby potatoes, and broiled pork chops with a rosemary lemon sauce had to be planned out and all the ingredients purchased. There was also an important prescription to fill. All before Dean got off work. It was time to get a move on.

 

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Dean had received a text telling him to come straight to Castiel’s, so he had, not stopping to change out of his scrubs, and when he was let in, the smell of the cooking food hit him hard, making his stomach instantly begin to growl.  Castiel kissed him softly before leading him into the kitchen.

 

“Wash your hands, dinner is almost done.”

 

“It smells amazing.  What is all this?” Dean spied the bottle of wine on the table and the vase with two red roses on his way to the sink.  When he was finished washing up, he went to sit down.

 

“I made a romantic dinner.”  Castiel began bringing everything over to the table, serving each item, and he was pleased to smell the joy and happiness radiating off the Alpha.  

 

“It looks as good as it smells; I can’t wait to dig in.”

 

Once everything was on the table, Castiel sat down and poured them both a glass of wine.

 

“I feel awkward since you didn’t let me go home and change first.”  Dean fidgeted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable to be sitting there in his scrubs when Castiel was wearing dress pants and a button down.

 

“Don’t be, this has nothing to do with clothing.  I just wanted to do something nice for you. Let’s eat.”  Castiel found his hand under the table and squeezed it gently before they started eating.  

 

The food was wonderful, and Dean raved over everything.  He was even more excited when the Omega pulled a cherry cobbler out for dessert.  They enjoyed some of that before cleaning everything up and taking their glasses of wine with them into the living room.  Dean could sense that Castiel was on edge. There was nervousness in his scent, but he was fidgeting too. As they sat down on the couch, Castiel angled himself so he was facing the Alpha, though he seemed to have difficulty meeting his gaze.

 

“I wanted to talk to you tonight, about some important things.”  

 

“Ok, you have my attention.”  Dean took a sip of his wine before setting the glass down on the coffee table.  He raised an eyebrow when Castiel drained the rest of his own glass before putting his down too, though he didn’t draw attention to it.  The Omega was raw nerves at the moment and if the wine helped to calm him at all, then Dean would give him the entire bottle. Whatever would help him through this apparently difficult conversation.  Castiel scooted closer, finally lifting his eyes and meeting the warm, green ones looking back at him.

 

“As much as I hate talking about my past, there are things you must know.  They may change your opinion of me, and I will understand if you choose to walk out the door and not come back.  It will hurt more than anything has ever hurt, save for one thing in my life, but I will understand why you did it.  Now, that being said, I will talk about this with you and only you. Sam does not get to hear this, nor does anyone else I may later befriend, unless I decide I want to tell them.  If I haven’t spoken to anyone except my sister about it in all these years, it’s highly doubtful I’ll talk to anyone else about it. Have I made myself clear?”

 

“Crystal.  This stays between you and me.  I’m still not walking out the door, no matter what you tell me,”  Dean replied. Castiel frowned, his brow furrowing and his mouth pulling downward as if the Alpha’s stubbornness was annoying, but it quickly faded, replaced by a sigh.

 

“You are stubborn.  Alright then. This is difficult to talk about, so please do not interrupt me.”

 

Dean nodded and waited for him to start.  With a slow slide of his tongue over his lips, Castiel began.

 

“When I was 14 I was overseas in England, at a boarding school my parents had selected.  It was the same one my sister had attended, though by that time she had graduated and was attending Oxford.  She would visit me regularly, take me out to lunch or to museums, and we would have fun. In the late spring, I presented.  The school catered to all orientations, it did not discriminate, though with my new designation, it was required that I change dormitories.  I was moved across campus to the Omega dorms. Anna didn’t think much of my presenting as an Omega, other than that she was more protective of me than usual.  My father, on the other hand was not pleased. Thankfully, he died not long after that. 

 

“Alphas in boarding schools are nothing but raging balls of hormones.  Looking back, I realize that now. They were more interested in having a warm place to stick their knot than in whether they were hurting the person they were trying to have sex with.  As soon as I presented, I must have had a dozen of them harassing me, in the halls, out in the courtyards, in my classes. It got very old, very fast. Of course I was on my own; Anna was at university and couldn’t help me.  

 

“One Alpha stepped in though.  He chased off the knotheads and kept me safe.  I knew him from several of my classes and he’d always been very nice to me, even before I presented.  His name was Balthazar. He was from England and when we had leave, once in a while he would show me around.  We became friends and…I thought I was falling in love. I was young and stupid. He was older, in his fourth year, and much more knowledgeable than a naïve Omega coming off their first heat.  

 

“It wasn’t that he pushed for sex, because he did not.  Balthazar was a gentleman, but we were young and hormones were raging, and he was about to head off to uni, and I thought I was in love.  My next heat was coming so I stupidly invited him to my bed before it arrived. I knew better than to take him to bed during it. Fourteen was too young for a mate.”

 

“We had sex, and he told me he loved me. I thought it was perfect. It was like something out of a cheesy romance novel.  When he went to university, we texted constantly. Then the time for my heat arrived, and it didn’t come.”

 

Castiel looked up nervously and saw the look of realization on Dean’s face.  The Alpha kept his mouth closed, though, and waited for him to finish his story.

 

“When my heat didn’t come, I got scared.  I called Anna and told her it never arrived.  She asked if I was sick, I said no, because I wasn’t.  Then she asked me if I was sexually active. I hesitated a second too long, and she just  _ knew _ .  The next thing I knew, she was at my school dragging me to the doctor to get checked out.  It turned out I was pregnant. We had just lost our father, and our mother was still in mourning, but I had no choice.  She had to know. Anna placed the call for me. My mother was livid. The next thing I knew she was flying out to pick me up, and I was taken home.  I managed to message Balthazar to tell him what had happened, but I was already out of the country by that point.

 

“I thought my mother would make me get an abortion, but she didn’t.  Instead, she hired a tutor and I was schooled at home. All communication with Balthazar, or with any of my old friends, was forbidden, though I found ways to do it anyway.  My pup grew inside me, and I was both excited and terrified. My mother told me that a Novak owns up to their mistakes, they do not hide them, nor do they run from them. So I was to have my pup, raise it, and teach it not to make the same mistakes I had made.  I knew she was right. I wanted better for my child. I was 15 by that point, and I felt far too young to be a mother, but the day came and I went into labor.” Castiel closed his eyes against the memory. It was still so painful, so fresh in his mind, even after all these years.

 

“The long story short is that there were complications.  I delivered a beautiful pup 10 weeks prematurely due to the stress and pressure my mother was putting on me, my age, and the anxiety of being completely and utterly isolated from everyone.  It took a toll on my body, and my little Sadie just couldn’t stay in any longer.”

 

“Cas…”  Dean whispered softly and took his hand.  Castiel opened his eyes to see the Alpha was crying.  That was not the reaction he’d expected.

 

“She was in the NICU for three months.  I refused to leave her side. My mother tried to drag me away, but I wouldn’t go.  Anna ended up coming home to mediate, and she defended me. She knew, even though I never gave up hope that my little girl would survive, she knew Sadie wasn’t strong enough, and she convinced our mother to back off and give me the time I needed with my child before she left this world for good.  Sadie was my little angel. I couldn’t save her. Lord knows I tried, I tried  _ so hard _ !

 

“I volunteer at the hospital because there are pups like Sadie, so many of them that need that tender touch to thrive and get stronger. It wasn’t enough to help my child, but I’ve helped others, so many others, and I continue to help them.  It gives my otherwise empty life meaning. Holding them, bonding with them skin to skin, it’s like getting to hold my Sadie again. It eases my pain just a bit and makes it hurt a little less, at least for a while. There is never a day that passes when I don’t miss her or think about her. 

 

“She is a very important part of my past.  She was not as important to Balthazar, though.  He was upset, but not as much so as I was. He later mated and has four healthy pups.  We haven’t talked in decades. I learned that through a former classmate. It hurt knowing Sadie didn’t mean as much to him as she did to me.”

 

“I am grateful that you told me about your daughter, Cas.  I’m so sorry you had to go through that, and that you experienced so much heartache at such a young age.  No one should have to suffer the loss of a pup. Did you really think I would walk out because you lost a child?  I’m not that shallow, honey. You’re too important to me.” Dean reached up with his free hand to wipe away the tears that were spilling down the Omega’s cheeks.  Castiel’s eyes were searching his own, finding nothing but love and patience, and it gave him the strength to go on.

 

“No, there’s more.  You see, the complications with her delivery, they led to her being delivered via cesarean.  I…hemorrhaged and they thought I was going to die on the table. Afterwards I was told I’d probably never be able to have another pup.”

 

He held his breath, his entire body tensing, waiting for Dean’s inevitable rejection, but the Alpha simply smiled softly and leaned in to kiss him.

 

“So that’s your reason for being wary of mating with me.  You were told you can’t have pups.”

 

Castiel hesitated before nodding.  “But that was then. At my sister’s urging I made an appointment with my doctor, and I saw him today.  He says my uterus looks good, and as long as I keep my stress levels low, I should not encounter the same complications as last time.  So…he thinks I should be able to get pregnant. There’s no guarantee though. There is scar tissue.”

 

“Cas, I don’t care.  I am not in love with you for your womb, I’m in love with you because you’re you.  You’re quirky and sweet and funny, and I love that about you. Yes, I would like to have pups, but you never even thought to ask me about that.  I’d be happy to adopt if we can’t have our own. As long as I get to have  _ you _ .”

 

This time the Omega broke down completely, all the tension he’d been holding onto for years bleeding out of him all at once, and he burst into tears.

 

“You…don’t hate me?’

 

“God, Cas, no!  I couldn’t possibly hate you!”  Dean pulled the man into his arms and held him tight.  As reserved as the Omega always was, and as cautious as he was about intimacy, the Alpha knew he was craving affection.  He’d denied himself for too long now because he’d felt he was unworthy of it, not because he actually was, and now he clung to Dean as if the man were his life raft.  His entire body shook with the force of his sobbing, but Dean simply sat back, pulling the man with him until he had the Omega cradled in his lap. He stroked his fingers through Castiel’s hair and down his arm, reassuring him over and over that he wanted him, that nothing would ever change that.

 

Slowly, Castiel regained his composure.  He’d never lost control like that before and he was mildly ashamed of himself for doing so now, but he felt so warm and safe with Dean, and his reassurances were exactly what he needed.  His head was resting on the Alpha’s shoulder and his fingers were curled around the sleeve of his scrub top. It dawned on him that this was what mates did for one another, they comforted each other in times of distress, they were intimate, beyond just kissing and hand holding, and he was hurting not only himself but Dean by denying that he needed and wanted this kind of relationship.  

 

For too long he’d relied on rigid structure, on maintaining his routines so nothing would disrupt his life and send him off his course, except now, he realized that the one thing he needed the most was for his ship to crash upon the shore, for his course to change, and for Dean to come into his life and make things better than they ever were before.  He couldn’t take away the pain of losing Sadie, but he could help him carry the weight of it. Dean cared in a way that Balthazar had not, and she hadn’t even been his pup. He could see the pain in the Alpha’s eyes, smell it in his scent, and hear it in his voice. Had Sadie lived, he believed Dean would have accepted her as his own, and loved her as such.  

 

Slowly, he lifted his head to look his Alpha in the eye.  Dean stayed quiet, waiting for him to speak first, and he was thankful for that.  He brought a hand up, slightly shaky, to stroke the Alpha’s cheek, his thumb brushing over a strong cheekbone as he sorted out the words he wanted to say.

 

“I’ve not…been with anyone, since Balthazar.  Losing Sadie hurt too much, and I closed myself off from the world.  My mother was cruel, saying it was my punishment for not waiting until I was mated, and she was disgusted with me, so I was shipped off to another boarding school, this time on the east coast.  An all Omega school where I finished out my years before beginning college. Once I had the master’s degree that was required of me, I was handed my inheritance, and I shut myself away. Anna found the job of her dreams, found the Omega of her dreams, and started her family.  She was our mother’s pride and joy. I was a disgrace. But she couldn’t take away my inheritance since it didn’t come from her, it came from my father. If she could have, though, she would have given it all to Anna. I run the hospital quite well though, something my mother didn’t expect, and it does very well.  Best neonatal care in the state. 

 

“I’ve had to rethink a great many things since you came into my life, such as what do I want, where do I see my life heading, and whether I want things to change.  You have already changed my life profoundly, Dean, in all the best ways, and I am so grateful. I had become very good at ignoring just how lonely I truly was, but I don’t want to be lonely anymore.  So…ask me again.”

 

Dean’s green eyes brightened.  “Really?” Castiel smiled softly and nodded.

 

“Ok, Cas, can I court you?”

 

Castiel took a deep breath, held it for a moment and nodded.  “Yes, you may.”

 

Dean wrapped him up in a hug so tight it took his breath away, then he was being kissed like there was no tomorrow.

 

“I promise, sweetheart, I will take care of you, and I will not hurt you or abandon you.  We’re in this together, ok? I love you.” He kissed Castiel again softly. “No matter what, we’re in this together.”

 

Castiel sighed contentedly and leaned his forehead against the Alpha’s.  Those words were calming to his soul and while he didn’t know exactly what to expect in a courtship, since each one was different, he trusted Dean explicitly.  

 

“Together.  I like the sound of that.  Now tell me, what does a courtship consist of?”

 

“It’s my job to woo you, Cas.  To prove that I’m a worthy Alpha.  At the end of it, we’ll bond. I wouldn’t want anyone but you, sweetheart, you’re perfect for me.”

 

Castiel lifted his head and smiled.  No one had ever called him perfect before.  “How long will this courtship last?”

 

“No longer than three months usually.  Sometimes it’s as quick as a few days. Sam’s lasted six weeks, but my friend Charlie’s lasted ten days.  It depends on the couple and how they feel about one another.”

 

“I feel like perhaps you’ve been courting me all along,”  Castiel admitted. “With your wonderful dates and kisses. Is that courting?”

 

Dean smiled.  “In a way. It’s more than that.  Courting is more…intimate. I’ll do much more for you, and if you’ll permit me, I’ll spend the night as often as you’ll allow me into your nest.”

 

A sudden thrill coursed through the Omega at the thought of having Dean spend the night.  Would they do domestic things like watch television or would they do more… _ intimate _ things?  Apparently the thought sparked some long forgotten arousal in him because the Alpha was suddenly grinning wolfishly and chuckling.

 

“Where did your mind just run away to?”

 

Castiel blushed and ducked his head shyly.  “I was unsure what that would entail. Perhaps my thoughts got away from me.”

 

“It will entail whatever you want it to entail.  If you want to relax on the couch and watch a documentary on bees, we’ll do that, but if you want something more than that, we can do that to.  I’m yours, Cas. Forever.”

 

“Will you stay tonight?”  Castiel worried his lower lip until Dean reached up to free it from between his teeth.

 

“I will.  I’m off tomorrow.  As long as you let me sleep in.”

 

“That is acceptable.  I’ll make coffee in the morning, and fresh waffles with blueberry compote.  Sound good?” Castiel shifted closer, smiling when Dean draped his arms around his waist.  

 

“If I wasn’t still stuffed from dinner, my stomach would be growling at that offer.  Heck yes!”

 

Castiel laughed happily.  “Alright then. Why don’t I refill our glasses and then I’ll find you something more comfortable to wear?  I’m sure an evening spent in scrubs will be rather annoying.”

 

“It would be, actually.  Thanks.” Dean finished off the last of the wine in his glass before Castiel took them to refill them.  While he was gone, the Alpha found the remote and turned the television on. He flipped channels until he landed on an episode of Criminal Minds he hadn’t seen.  

 

Castiel returned with two glasses of wine, a tee shirt, and a pair of sweatpants for Dean to change into.  At the next commercial break Dean took the clothes to the bathroom and changed. Comfortable now, he carried his scrubs and shoes back into the living room, leaving the clothes on the table by the door and the shoes on the floor before he curled up on the couch with Castiel again.  He noticed the Omega had changed as well and was also dressed quite casually in a tee shirt and loose-fitting lounge pants. He looked relaxed, and the moment Dean sat, he pressed up against the Alpha’s side to watch the show.

 

It turned out Castiel wasn’t overly familiar with Criminal Minds, only having watched one or two episodes over the years, but he did like it, and when it was over, they decided to watch a movie together.  Castiel had never experienced such comfortable domesticity with anyone before, and he found himself regretting having told Dean no on the courting for as long as he had. 

 

Eventually they both grew tired and Dean was dozing off, so Castiel turned the television off and nudged him to wake him up.  He’d never had another person in his nest like this, and it was equal parts exciting and nerve wracking to have an Alpha in it now.  But he trusted Dean. 

 

He led the Alpha upstairs to his bedroom, and then into the master bath where he pulled out an unopened toothbrush package.

 

“After wine and garlic, I’m sure you’ll appreciate it.”  He smiled and Dean chuckled.

 

“I would, actually.  I have an awful taste at the back of my mouth just from falling asleep on the couch.  Sorry about that, by the way. I’m usually up by five on the weekdays so I can be at work by seven.  I’m better on the weekends, I promise.”

 

“I’ll hold you to that,”  Castiel teased as he readied his own toothbrush.  As he brushed his teeth, he watched the Alpha in the mirror.  Dean was tall with broad shoulders and muscular forearms, and when he put the paste on his own brush and begun to clean his teeth, he could see the sharp canines, one of the obvious features that marked him as an Alpha.  His eyes flicked up to meet the green ones watching him back and Dean winked. Castiel blushed and dropped his gaze to the sink basin, choosing to concentrate on the task at hand rather than wonder what a mating bite would feel like.

 

Back in the bedroom, Castiel pulled the covers back and they both slid in.  He laid stock still on his back, several feet away from Dean for a long few minutes before he realized that wasn’t what he wanted at all.  Dean was still awake, lying on his side facing him, watching as he slowly inched his way across the mattress towards him. He lifted his arm up, letting the Omega settle against his side.  Castiel stared up at him with huge blue eyes. 

 

“Is this alright?”

 

Dean pulled him closer, pressing a kiss to his forehead before wrapping his arm around him.

 

“This is perfect.”

 

Castiel relaxed slowly, letting the feeling of warmth and safety envelop him.  He’d never been held as he fell asleep before, but he found that not only did he like it, he found it easier to fall asleep than he ever had before.


	11. Chapter 11

Morning came all too soon and as Castiel rose to consciousness, he became aware of two things: the firm body pressed up against his back and half wrapped around him, and the hard cock trapped between the back of his left thigh and Dean’s right leg.  That snapped him awake faster than anything else and he tried to scoot away, but the arm around his waist tightened, pulling him in tighter.

 

“Don’t worry, I’m not giving in to my animalistic side,” Dean murmured.  “You don’t have to be scared of me.”

 

Castiel settled down again, turning over so he could look at the Alpha.  Dean’s eyes were still closed and he marveled over how long the man’s lashes were, and just how many freckles were scattered over his nose and cheeks.  He was a truly stunning Alpha, and he was Castiel’s. That was completely mind blowing.

 

As if sensing he was being watched, Dean cracked one eye open and smiled.  “Watching me now?” 

 

Castiel smiled back.  “I like looking at you.  You’re beautiful.”

 

That got both of the Alpha’s eyes opening and focusing on his face.  “Well thank you. What time is it?”

 

Castiel shifted just enough so he could see the time on the clock sitting on the nightstand.  

 

“Almost ten.”

 

“Wow, I really slept in.  I needed that though.” Dean stretched though his arm remained around Castiel’s waist so he couldn’t escape.  

 

“How am I going to make you waffles if you won’t let me up from the bed?”  the Omega laughed.

 

“Waffles can wait.  You smell so good. It’s more concentrated in the morning, and I like that.  Dean buried his nose against Castiel’s throat and breathed his scent in. He paid particular attention to any notes of discomfort or fear that might seep into his Omega’s scent, but there were none.  Castiel was calm, pleased almost that Dean was finding his scent so enjoyable. So Dean chanced purring, just to see what kind of reaction he would get.

 

Purring was something intimate, between mates, and between parents and their pups.  Castiel’s eyes widened, and he turned to look up at him. Dean nuzzled against his cheek before pressing a tender kiss against it.  

 

“You’re…you’re purring…”  Castiel placed a hand against the Alpha’s chest, marveling over the rumbling feeling under his fingertips.  It was a different experience with a newborn pup. With a pup, they were reaching out for comfort, trying to connect with their mother or father, or in cases where he was bonding with them, they were reaching out to him.  This was Dean trying to establish a bond connection, and it left him slightly stunned. It made sense though, they were in his nest, they were courting, so of course the Alpha would purr for him. He broke out in a wide smile, he couldn’t help it.  Hearing Dean purr like this made him happier than he thought possible. The Alpha pushed up on one elbow so he was looking down at him, his expression was so soft and full of love it made Castiel feel safe.

 

“May I please have skin to skin contact?  It’s part of the bonding process, and I’m dying to touch you.  Just our shirts, nothing else,” Dean asked. There was a pleading tone to his voice, and Castiel knew he could trust him.  Besides, if they were going to mate, at some point they would see one another naked. Dean would eventually see his scar. He wasn’t asking to see that right now though, he just wanted him to remove his shirt.

 

“Alright.”  He lifted up enough so that he could pull his shirt over his head and laid it aside.  His heart was racing as he watched Dean do the same. The moment they were both bare chested, the Alpha was pulling him close again, purring even louder as he wrapped him up in his arms once more.

 

The feel of skin on skin was incredible. Like sparks flying between them and he was unable to hold in the moan that bubbled up as Dean pressed him back against the mattress.  He had never been one to submit, to anyone, but he did so now easily, tilting his head back to give the Alpha the access he wanted. Memories of his time with Balthazar rose up to the surface, but they were fuzzy after so many years.  Still, nothing he could recall had been even a fraction as nice as anything he had experienced thus far with Dean, and they hadn’t even done anything sexual yet. He’d never submitted to Balthazar, and they’d never shared skin on skin contact like this, despite having sex.  In retrospect, years later he’d realized sex was all it had been, and he was not the only Omega Balthazar had slept with. Wisely though, he’d made sure to never let himself get into the same kind of situation again. He’d never thought himself deserving of something or someone as wonderful as this, but Dean was proving to him that he did deserve it, and more than anything, he  _ wanted _ this.

 

His hands reached out instinctively, grabbing the Alpha’s biceps and clinging to him.  A hot tongue licked across his scent glands, making him gasp and arch up into Dean’s grasp.  He was as hard and aching now as the Alpha but he wasn’t ready for sex yet. Dean might be, but he was not.  Thankfully, the Alpha seemed content to just get drunk on his scent. He was purring and rubbing his nose against the Omega’s scent glands, covering himself in his scent.  Castiel took a deep breath, ran his fingers up into the Alpha’s hair, and did something he’d never done for anyone except Sadie or the pups in the NICU; he began to purr. Dean’s breath hitched for a moment, and then he was kissing him. It wasn’t like the controlled, chaste kisses they usually shared, this was filled with passion and heat.  He’d never experienced anything like it, and it quickly became understandable why some courtships were extremely brief. His fingers tangled in the Alpha’s short hair, dragging him in closer until Dean got the hint and climbed on top of him, straddling him and pinning him to the bed.

 

“Dean, I’m not ready for sex.” He cupped his Alpha’s face, smiling when the man leaned into his touch, and looked into his eyes.

 

“Baby, I told you, I’m not pushing you into anything you’re not ready for.  We’re not mating until you’re ready,” Dean promised.

 

“But…”  Castiel wiggled his hips, pointing out how hard they both were, but that just made the Alpha chuckle.

 

“Those can go away on their own or…I can help them go away faster.  Only if you want my hands on you more than they already are. If you’re ready for that.  I know it’s our first day, and I’m not looking to rush you or anything, but we will have a lifetime together, and I definitely want to do more than just this.  I’m hoping you will too. If you’ll let me, if you’ll continue to trust me, I promise I can make you happy as well as make you feel incredibly good.”

 

“I do trust you, Dean, and all of this has felt incredible already.  I’m not ready to be knotted, or be formally mated, but I’m open to anything else you might suggest.  I didn’t think I was ready for such things, but…I believe I am.” Castiel looked him in the eye as he reached between them and pushed his lounge pants down, along with his boxers.  Dean’s nostrils flared as the heady smell of slick reached his nose and a possessive growl rumbled out of his chest. He shoved his own sweatpants and underwear down until he could kick them off, then gently nudged Castiel’s legs apart.

  
  


Slick was flowing easily and he gathered some up, using it to lubricate both of their dicks before wrapping a hand around them and giving an experimental pull.  He groaned as Castiel gasped, and he tightened his grip. The slick eased the way as he began jacking both of their cocks, and he watched in fascination as a look of pure ecstasy came over his Omega’s face.  This was something he loved seeing, and as much as he was enjoying himself, Castiel was his main focus. He wanted to bring his mate as much pleasure as absolutely possibly. Anything to strengthen their bond and show his Omega that he could take care of all of his needs.  

 

He paid close attention to every sound Castiel made as he squeezed and stroked their cocks, running his hand up and down their lengths as he chased their orgasms.  His Omega’s scent grew stronger the closer he got, and Dean decided to help him along a bit. He ran his tongue along the spot on his mate’s shoulder where soon he’d be laying his claiming bite, then nipped at the tender skin.  It was enough to have Castiel cry out as he arched up off the bed, his entire body tensing as he came in hot spurts between them. Dean eased him through it before releasing him and taking hold of his own cock. His knot was swelling and he gave it a couple of squeezes as he stroked himself, using Castiel’s semen as lubrication to quicken his pace.  He gasped when he felt gentle fingers brush over the head of his cock before nudging his hand out of the way completely. Castiel’s hand was firm, lacking in the hesitation he’d expected as he took over and it wasn’t long before he was falling over the edge, spilling over his mate’s hand and across his stomach.

 

“Fuck…”  He groaned, dropping his head to Castiel’s chest before sliding to the side so he didn’t land on top of him.

 

“Is that something people usually do on the first day of courting or were we moving much faster than most?” the Omega asked.  Dean chuckled and shifted so he was wrapping himself around the man again, ignoring the fluids they were both covered in. That’s what showers were for.

 

“Cas, we’ve been dating for months now.  This isn’t fast. Most people have sex after a few dates.  I think we’re good.”

 

Castiel grinned as he looked over at him.  “I suppose you’re right. I very much enjoyed that, though I need a shower now.” 

 

“Yeah, we’re going to get very sticky once we start to dry,”  Dean agreed.

 

“H-how long…until your knot deflates?”  Castiel could still feel it pressed against his leg, and he knew it took a while to go down.

 

“Mmm, maybe thirty minutes?  I only came once, so it’ll take longer.”  Dean murmured against his jaw before kissing it.  

 

“How many times can you come usually?”

 

“Not sure.  I’ve never knotted anyone.  Guess one day we’ll find out, eh?”  The Alpha cracked a smile that made his mate blush.

 

“I suppose we will.  Not quite yet though.  I do like the skin on skin contact though.  Perhaps we can sleep without our shirts on….tonight?”

 

Dean lifted his head to look at him.  “You want me to stay all weekend? Cause I’m definitely ok with that; I should grab fresh underwear and a clean set of scrubs, though.  You can make the drive with me. We can go out for dinner after I’ve snagged some clean clothes.”

 

“Ok, but until then, I want a shower and waffles.”

 

The Alpha smiled and stretched before unwrapping himself from around him and climbing out of the bed.  Instinctively, Castiel pulled the covers over himself, covering his belly and his scar. Dean didn’t draw attention to it, or the fact that there would just be more for them to wash later.  He figured Castiel would already know that.

 

“Care to join me for a shower?”  

 

Castiel blinked up at him in surprise.  “Join you?”

 

“Yes.  If you’re up for it, I’m all about pampering and taking care of you.”

 

“I…don’t think I’m ready for that.” Castiel clutched the blankets tighter.  He wasn’t quite ready to put his entire body on full display yet.

 

“Ok, well, how about you go take your shower first and I’ll strip the bed, then when you’re done I’ll go take a shower while you go whip up those waffles you promised.”  Dean sat down on the edge of the bed and smiled softly. The last thing he wanted to do was push too hard.

 

“That works.  I’ll set out some clean clothes for you.  Leave the bedding and your dirty clothes in the hamper; I have to do laundry anyway.”  Castiel sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He located his lounge pants and shrugged them back on, then his tee shirt.  

 

After setting clean clothes out for Dean on top of the dresser, he took a set for himself into the bathroom, closing the door behind himself.  Dean watched him go, his shoulders sagging once the door shut and he was alone. He hoped this courtship didn’t last forever and that Castiel would trust him to look at his body and see it as the perfect beauty that it was.  He’d glimpsed the scar on his mate’s belly, but wisely he hadn’t let his eyes linger, nor had he mentioned it. It was a cesarean scar, he knew that much, and clearly something his mate was quite self-conscious about. 

 

He used the blanket to wipe himself off and then stripped the bed of all the blankets and the sheet.  After gathering up the discarded clothes and putting everything in the hamper, he found the linen closet in the hall and retrieved a fresh set of sheets and blankets for the bed.  He was just finished remaking the bed when Castiel came out of the bathroom.

 

“Oh, you made the bed.  I see you found the closet.”  The Omega smiled, pleased by the Alpha’s efforts.

 

“Yeah, I mean, I hope you don’t mind.  I just wanted to get that done and out of the way.  I’d have started the wash too, but I didn’t want to steal your hot water.  I’d like to finish my shower first.” Dean was still standing there, completely nude, unashamed, though Castiel was blushing.  He noted that the Alpha’s knot still wasn’t fully deflated.

 

“Well, I’ll go get breakfast started.  I left you a clean washcloth and towels as well as the clean clothes.  I have a tankless water heater, so there’s plenty of hot water. Just come downstairs when you’re finished.  I’ll have breakfast cooking.” 

 

“Sounds great, I’m starving.”  Dean started for the bathroom, pausing first to grab the clothes that had been left for him on top of the dresser.


	12. Chapter 12

“I have the best news in the world, Sammy.”  Dean was practically beaming as he drove in to work Monday morning.  He’d called his brother using the Bluetooth headset Sam had gotten him for his birthday.  Normally he hated that thing, but he was eager to tell his brother the good news.

 

“You’re finally paying the debt you owe me on for the fantasy football game   you lost in ’99?” Sam asked. Dean knew his brother was teasing, and it got him laughing.

 

“Ha ha, no.  Cas said yes!  I’m courting him!”

 

“Really?  That’s great!”  Sam sounded equal parts happy for him and disbelieving.  Hell, he was still in mild disbelief himself.

 

“I know, and he’s so amazing.  There has been very little he has said no to in the bonding process.  I don’t think it will take months before we’ll complete the bond. At least, I hope it won’t.  I’m sort of dying to make him mine, have been for months now,” Dean confessed.

 

“I hope not.  I know how much you want this.”  Sam said. “Are you talking about pups yet?”

 

Dean’s smile faltered a bit, and he was glad he wasn’t having this conversation with his brother in person.

 

“No, uh, not yet.  That might not be a possibility for us, but I don’t care, as long as I get to have him as my mate.”

 

“Yeah?  You’re that happy with him?”  Sam asked.

 

“I am.  I know you think he’s a bit strange, but he just shut himself off for so long from people that he’s trying to get used to the little bit of socializing that he’s been doing again.  He enjoys the lunches he has with you, and now that we’re courting, I’m going to broach the subject of us all getting together for dinner, so he can meet Eileen finally. He’s been asking about your pup ever since you adopted him, and I know he’d like to see him again.”

 

“Sure, let’s aim for a night where I’m not on call.  Maybe Thursday. We’ll do dinner at my house. I’ll tell Eileen tonight.  You can bring dessert; she’s not exactly good at baking.” Sam chuckled. Dean huffed out a laugh.  His sister-in-law was a sweet woman and she could cook like a dream, but her baking skills were horrible.

 

“No problem, I’ll bring something.  I’ll tell Cas tonight.”

 

They hung up just as Dean pulled into the parking lot at the medical center where he worked.  He had a full day of work ahead of him, and he was actually looking forward to getting started.

 

Several weeks had passed since Castiel had accepted his request ro court him, and everything had been wonderful, from the kisses to the intimacy they now shared. This was the happiest he'd been in years. 

 

His good mood now carried into his work too, and both the staff and clients had noticed. Th particular day he was in an especially good mood. Cas had made a rather intimate breakfast and they'd spent time in bed sharing bits of the pancakes his Omega had made, and feeding one another strawberries before he had to come to work. 

 

His first three patients went by quickly, and then it was time for his eleven o’clock.  Three-year-old Ben Braeden was making so much progress that it was expected he’d be done with physical therapy in another six months or so.  He’d almost caught up to his peers with his fine motor skills now, and he’d already caught up with them on his gross ones. Dean was quite proud of him.  His mother, though, was a problem. As a single Omega, she tended to hover, but not over her son. She hovered over Dean, always asking him questions, attempting to delve into his personal life, and he remained professional at all times, keeping his focus on Ben and asking her to remain seated at the table in the center of the room and out of their way while he worked with the pup.  Lately she'd seemed more agitated, and he knew it had a lot to do with the fact that he smelled mated. Castiel's scent was all over him all the time now.

 

“How was your weekend?” she asked.  

 

“It was fine,” he replied as he handed another puzzle piece to Ben, showing the pup the proper way to hold it so he could fit it in the slot.  He’d been born with torticollis that had led to delayed motor skills since they hadn’t figured out what was even wrong with him until he was nearly six months old.  Ben took the piece and, after dropping it several times, managed to get it into the right spot.

 

“Do anything special?”  

 

Dean clenched his jaw for a second before forcing himself to release it.  He didn’t want his agitation to bleed through into his scent and upset Ben.  Instead, he pointed out the next piece and let the pup grab it for himself as he forced himself to relax.

 

“No, not really.”

 

Lisa, Ben’s mother, pursed her lips as she watched her son and Dean together.

 

“I was thinking of taking Ben to the summer fest this weekend.  There’s supposed to be bouncy houses and face painting there. I think he’ll have fun.  Lots of games to play too.”

 

“I think he’d like that very much.  Socializing for pups is important. Find things for him to do that will encourage him to work his fine motor skills while you’re there.  It will help a lot,” Dean said.

 

“I’ll see what’s there.  Were, um,  _ you _ planning to go?” she asked.  He glanced up just as she tucked a lock of her long, dark hair behind one ear and tilted her head, exposing her throat.  Immediately he turned his attention back to Ben.

 

“No, my mate doesn’t like crowds, they make him uncomfortable.  We’ll probably just stay home and do some gardening. He ordered some new plants, and we want to get them in the ground before it gets cold out.”  He switched out the finished puzzle for another activity that required Ben to use his fingers, but he didn’t miss the crestfallen look on Lisa’s face.  For the two and a half years that he’d been working with Ben, he’d been avoiding her questions and subtle flirtations. Now that he was formally courting Castiel though, it was his duty to dissuade anyone that might try to challenge his courtship.  He wouldn’t do anything to risk losing his Omega, not now, not when he was so close.

 

“Oh, that…it sounds nice.  What, um, kinds of flowers did he get?” she asked.  Dean knew she was just making small talk, and that was fine by him.  He could discuss flowers. 

 

The conversation alternated between talk of flowers and showing Ben new things he could do, and new tasks he could try to strengthen his hands.  When his hour was up, he happily bounced over to his mother and she swept him up into her arms. Once they were gone, Dean left, heading up to the hospital to meet his brother for lunch.  He reached the maternity floor, slowing as he approached the nursing station when he heard the sound of voices in a heated argument. One of them was Sam, and one of them was Castiel. As soon as he smelled his Omega’s distress and anger, he picked his pace up, reaching what he could only describe as pure chaos.  Sam was standing between Castiel and one of the nurses, a blonde Dean had seen a couple of times over the last few months. He was pretty sure her name was Jo. Sam looked upset, but Castiel looked ready to claw Jo’s eyes out. His fangs and claws were extended, and there was the coppery scent of blood in the air.  

 

“What the hell is going on?”  Dean moved closer, getting his mate’s attention, not that Castiel backed down at all.  It did, however alert the Alpha to the fact that his mate was starting his heat. His nose twitched, but he held his position.  He knew better than to just go acting on instinct, which was probably what Jo had done.

 

“Don’t worry, I called security,”  Sam replied, still holding his position.  Jo was being restrained by Missouri, the head nurse, as well as another doctor on staff, Ellen Harvelle.  Ellen looked particularly ashamed, though Dean wasn’t sure exactly why.

 

“Why did you have to call security?  What is going on that you even needed to call them?  And whose blood am I smelling?” 

 

“Hers.  She tried pinning me.   _ Again _ .  I protected myself.  This time, I am not just standing aside and letting her get away with it.  I will be speaking to the board.” Castiel growled angrily. Dean approached him slowly, holding out a hand to him.

 

“Your arm is bruised, can I see it?”

 

The Omega relaxed, claws retracting as he calmed himself down.  He held his arm out, letting Dean examine the bruises on his forearm.  A growl rumbled up from his own chest as he glared at Jo.

 

“Who do you think you are, just grabbing my mate like this?  He’s not yours to take just because you think you can. Have you no respect for people?”  he snapped. She hung her head in shame.

 

“I-I’ve been trying to work through the urges,” Jo said through gritted teeth.

 

“She’s been taking the inhibitor, it’s just…not strong enough,”  Ellen said.

 

“Jo is Ellen’s daughter,”  Sam explained. That made no difference as far as Dean was concerned.  She was an unmated Alpha that hadn’t been able to control herself around an unmated Omega in heat.  This was the wrong place for her to be working. He turned his attention back to his mate.

 

“Are you alright, sweetheart?  Have you gotten to visit the pups yet?”

 

“I did, actually, and I’m glad too because with the state I’m in now, they’d be too upset by my agitation.  I know I smell angry, because I am.” Castiel was soothed by Dean’s presence, and by his touch. He’d never have let an Alpha touch him in the past but this was his mate, or at least he would be soon, and he found that he wanted Dean’s soothing touch.  “What brought you to the hospital?”

 

“I came to have lunch with Sam,”  Dean replied.

 

“That’s going to have to be rescheduled, I’m sorry,”  Sam apologized. “Maybe you should take Cas out to lunch instead.  Get him out of the hospital for the afternoon.”

 

The elevator doors opened and two large Alpha security guards stepped out.  

 

“Escort her to human resources,”  Sam instructed. They both nodded and took hold of Jo’s arms, leading her away.  Sam followed, as did Ellen. Missouri shook her head sadly before walking away. 

 

“How long has she been harassing you?”  Dean asked.

 

“She did once a few months back, but I snapped at her and she backed off.  Sam gave her a warning and later told me that she was put on the inhibitors.  Apparently they weren’t strong enough because she’s so young and virile, but a stronger dose could be dangerous.  It’s been wearing off over the last few months and, well, this was my last chance to come in and see the pups before my heat hits.  I’ll be closed up in my house and I will miss them, so I came down to see them. She wasn’t here when I arrived, but as I went to leave, she was, and she tried to corner me.  She had the audacity to get angry because she could smell you on me, but could tell that I’m not mated. I warned her to leave me alone and when I tried to walk away, she grabbed me and tried to pull me back.  I…snapped at her. With my teeth, in self-defense. It got her to let go though. Missouri came, as did Ellen. She called for Sam, and we headed over to the nurses station. Jo was starting to go into a rut; she wasn’t thinking clearly.  Sam called for security, and then you showed up. I’m very glad that you’re here.”

 

Castiel ran a hand down the front of Dean’s scrub top.  Today he’d worn his Scooby Doo scrubs, and it brought a smile to the Omega’s face.  Dean wrapped an arm around his waist and led him towards the elevators.

 

“I’m glad you’re ok.  Sam told me there was an Alpha nurse still learning to control her urges, but I didn’t realize she was harassing  _ you _ .  She’s lucky I didn’t knock her head off her shoulders.  I’m not taking any challenge to our courtship lightly. I already had to turn away one Omega today, and now we’re chasing off a rude, disrespectful Alpha.”  

 

Castiel pressed the down button and turned to look at him.  “What do you mean you turned away an Omega today? Someone challenged the courtship?”

 

“I smell mated, until someone gets close enough to tell that I’m not actually.  Being that I’m working with pups, their parents get pretty close sometimes, especially when they’re handing me their children, or I’m handing their kids back to them.  There’s this Omega whose pup I’ve been doing physical therapy with for a little over two years now. I’ve never been interested in her, I always wanted my truemate, but she has always hinted that she was interested in me, asking questions, subtly flirting, that kind of stuff.  Anyway, I’ve always deliberately kept things professional, avoiding her probing questions, not giving her any information about my private life, and I pointedly ignore the flirting and subtle submission she keeps doing. I focus on her son, because he’s the reason she’s even there in the first place.

 

“Lately she's been in a bit of a snit.  I know she can smell you all over me. I smell mated, so today she started asking me if I’m going to the summer fest this weekend, and I got the impression that she was going to ask me to go with her.  So I told her no, I was going to stay home with my mate and garden, since that’s what we had planned, til your heat popped up anyway. She looked miffed, but I don’t care. I’m not letting her or anyone else threaten what we have.”  Dean cupped his Omega’s face and leaned in to kiss him softly. Castiel melted against him, eagerly kissing him back. When the elevator doors opened, they stepped inside and hit the button for the first floor.

 

“Will you be seeing her again?”  Castiel asked.

 

“I have to.  Her son Ben has therapy with me twice a week.  We’re improving his fine motor skills. She is no threat to you though.  If I wanted her, I could have had her two years ago, but I never did.” Dean soothed his mate with gentle fingers brushed through his hair and a tender kiss to his forehead.  Castiel was clammy, his heat only just beginning to ramp up. He had time before it got really bad.

 

“What time do you get off work?”

 

“My last patient is at 3:30.  I’ll be done by 4:30 and on my way home,”  Dean replied. 

 

Castiel lifted his head confidently and met his boyfriend’s gaze.  “I believe I am ready for this courtship to be over.”

 

Dean’s stomach did a flip.  Was Castiel saying what he thought he was saying?

 

“Cas?”

 

“Come directly to my house when you are finished with work.  I will order us dinner as I do not feel up to cooking or being cooked for.”  

 

“Well, I’m getting you lunch now, you need it, and in that case, I’m stopping to get groceries so I can take care of you during your heat.  I can be to your house around 5:15. Maybe 5:30. I want you to drink plenty of water, take a cool bath to keep the fever down, and sleep. I’ll take care of you through this heat and every heat after.”

 

Castiel smiled softly and leaned into his boyfriend’s embrace.  “Will it hurt? Being knotted?”

 

“It’s supposed to feel really good, for both of us.  You know I’d never hurt you, sweetheart.” Dean brushed his fingers through Castiel’s hair and kissed his forehead.  They’d come so far in the last few months. He understood though that Castiel wasn’t going to tolerate any challenges to their claim on one another.  It pleased him to no end though that Castiel was ready to finally mate.

 

“What are we going to do about our living arrangements?”  the Omega wondered.

 

“See, I’ve been thinking about that.  I found a house that I think is really freaking awesome, but what sold me on it was that it has land.  Baby, I can build you the boxes for your bees and you can plant fields of wildflowers to feed them, then sit outside and watch them.  You’re going to love it. It’s a fresh start for us both, just outside the city so it would be the same distance for you to drive here to be with the pups, and a closer drive for me to get to either of the centers where I work.  It’s also just far enough out that people won’t bother us, which means no nosey neighbors, and we can have people over at our leisure. No noisy block parties, hopefully Bible thumpers don’t bother us though. I tried to think of everything.  I have enough saved for the down payment, but I want to try to talk them down in price a bit. Payments might be stretching my budget at the current price.”

 

“You found a new house?”  Castiel wasn’t sure how he felt about that.  Certainly Dean had put a lot of thought into finding one the Omega would like, but his current house was what he had known for decades now.  However…a change would be good. He’d already been changing so much since he met Dean, but maybe a new house would round things out.

 

“I did, out on Butterfield Road.”

 

Castiel was pretty sure he knew the exact house Dean was talking about.

 

“I would like to see it, after my heat.  Can you arrange a walk through?”

 

“I’ll do that in a little bit.  First, I want to get you fed and on your way back home.  I don’t trust other Alphas today.” Dean walked him across the parking lot to the diner, where they enjoyed a nice meal together.  After, he walked Castiel back to his car and watched him pull out of the hospital parking lot. They hadn’t exactly talked about tonight, or what it would entail.  Was this really it? Would Castiel let him claim him, or was this just another test? He’d  _ said _ he wanted the courtship to be over.  They’d barely begun it, but hey, he wasn’t complaining, he’d wanted the Omega as his months ago.

 

He made his own drive back to work but even as focused as he was on his job, he was distracted.  The hours passed by at a snail’s pace, and 4:30 couldn’t come fast enough. All he wanted was to get to Castiel.

 

 

 

  



	13. Chapter 13

“What do you mean you’re ending the courtship, are you finally mating?”  Anna asked.

 

“Well, that is what happens when you end a courtship, is it not?” Castiel tilted his head in confusion. His sister sighed on the other end of the Skype call.

 

“Cassie, that can be taken one of two ways, and one is that you no longer want to court him because you’re breaking up.”

 

“No, he was not upset.  He said he would take care of me during my heat.  We’ve had challenges to our claims, and I’m sick of it.  He loves me as I am and doesn’t think I’m weird. I enjoy every minute I’m with him, even if it’s something as simple as reading a book while he’s in the room.  I’ve met all of his friends, and they’re very nice. No one pries into my past, no one expects more than I’m willing to give, and he’s been encouraging me to make friends again.  I have befriended his brother, Sam, and Sam’s wife, Eileen. They’re very nice, and Dean’s best friend, Charlie? I thought she was too high energy for me at first, but she knows I can’t handle that so she tones it down when she’s around me.  She says I make her feel calm. We’ve become friends as well. I hadn’t realized how much I needed this. I was so lonely, Anna. Dean makes me not feel that way. I’m proud to take him as my mate, and I will love him the rest of my life. Not all matings are so loving, but ours will be.”

 

“Ok, but make things crystal clear, ok?  Let him know this is for mating, not just to help you through your heat.  Dean’s a nice guy and he loves you. Remember that it’s your job to take care of him too.”

 

“I understand.”  He swiped the back of his hand across his forehead and grimaced.  He’d turned the air on and the house was icy cold, but he was still hot.

 

“Fever getting to you?” she asked.

 

“It is.  I’ve already taken two baths since I got home.  I know what will bring it down, but I’m waiting for Dean to get here.”

 

Anna checked the time in the corner of the computer.  “It’s already after five, won’t he be there soon?”

 

“He said he was stopping at the store to get enough food and other things to take care of me through my heat.  Isn’t he thoughtful?” he gushed. She snickered at how adorable her little brother was in that moment.

 

“He’s a good Alpha to take care of you.”

 

“He’s nothing like Balthazar was.  I realize now that what we had, it wasn’t love.  It was lust and infatuation, not love. What I have with Dean though, this is real love, and I want a lifetime of it.  Does that make me greedy? To want to be loved how he loves me?”

 

“Honey, no, not at all.  Keep in mind, you and Balthazar, you were just pups yourselves when you met.  It’s very difficult for pups to distinguish between love and lust. I’m sorry you had to learn it in such a hard way, but now you have the real thing, and it’s ok to want it.  You deserve true love, just like anyone does, and it’s wonderful to see how happy he makes you, but I also have seen firsthand just how happy you make him.” She smiled at her brother, and he smiled back.  In the background she heard what sounded like a door opening and closing.

 

“Is that Dean?”

 

“Yes, he just got here,” he replied excitedly.

 

“I’m going to let you go.  I'll talk to you when your heat’s over, ok?”

 

“Yes, I love you, Anna.”

 

“I love you too, Cassie.”

 

She ended the call and he set his laptop aside and hurried downstairs to the kitchen where Dean was putting away the things he’d bought.

 

“Hey, baby, did I hear you talking to someone?”

 

“I was on a Skype call with Anna, just killing time.  I can only take so many baths and play so many games on my phone before I feel like I’m going to jump right out of my skin.”  Castiel spotted the brown paper bags on the island. “You brought dinner?”

 

“I did.  Saves us having to order in.  There’s calzones in there, and spaghetti with meatballs.  Oh, and garlic bread.” Dean was putting meat in the fridge and fresh fruits and vegetables.  He planned to make sandwiches during the day and actual meals in the evening. If he could get food into Castiel in the mornings, he had oatmeal, fresh fruit, and granola bars that he could give.  Things he hoped wouldn’t send his boyfriend running for the toilet because he couldn’t hold his food down. He knew from his mother how sick an Omega could get during their heat. There was no way he’d risk his mate.

 

Mate.  

 

He felt incredibly happy thinking about that.  When he had finished putting the food away he got down plates so they could eat the food Castiel was sorting through.

 

“This all smells very good.  I’ve never eaten here before.”  Castiel pulled the containers of spaghetti out and pulled the little paper lid off one.  Dean was already handing him a fork. While Castiel dug in, he put a calzone and garlic bread on a plate for the man.  Heats, he remembered, brought about an incredible hunger in the first 48 hours, which was how the body prepared for a long, draining week of barely being able to get out of bed.  It was a defense mechanism the Omega body had developed during a time centuries earlier when they outnumbered Alphas ten to one. Most Omegas were forced to endure their heats alone then.  Now, the number of Alphas was much higher and not nearly as many went through their heats by themselves. Castiel’s body was still very primitive, and his hunger was ravenous in nature. He ate the bowl of spaghetti and then started on the calzone.  Before Dean was even finished with his bowl of spaghetti, Castiel was digging into the garlic bread. He finished that in less than a minute and let out a contented sigh.

 

“That was delicious.  Thank you, you seemed to know exactly what I needed.”

 

“You needed carbs and meat, so I provided.  In the morning I’ll make you oatmeal with blueberries.  You should eat light in the morning, when your heat is at its worst, then eat heavier in the evening, when it tapers off.  So I have lunchmeat for sandwiches in the afternoon and I’ll make things like stew, roasts, chicken and dumplings, stuff that can be made in a crock pot for dinner meals. I have snacks too, for when your body can’t handle getting out of bed.”  Dean explained as he found one of the crock pots and pulled it out. For some reason his boyfriend had two. It made cleanup easier.

 

“How do you know so much about heats?”  Castiel asked.

 

“My dad, uh, he had a drinking problem for a few years when my brother and I were pups.  He neglected my mom during her heats during those years when his drinking was at its worst, so I made sure she stayed fed and hydrated.  She came close to dying the first time. I was like, eight? I heard her crying, calling for my dad but he was passed out on the couch, so I went to check on her. She was so hungry, so I made her grilled cheese and brought her some grapes.  I remember that vividly. She said she was thirsty so I brought her up a pitcher of water. For the remainder of her heat I kept her fed and hydrated. I think my dad helped a few of those days, when he was sober enough, but oh did my mom give him an earful when she was over her heat!  I’d never heard her yell at my dad like that before. It took a car crash before he finally knew he needed to be sober. I was twelve by that point, and I’d been taking care of the family for probably four years then. It was weird when he finally got sober and became the Alpha our family needed.  I didn’t know what to do with myself, and it put my dad and me at odds for a while. Mom put me in therapy before she died, and it helped a lot. But yeah, that’s how I know what to do for a heat. I told you I’d take care of you, and I will.” 

 

He brushed his fingers through Castiel’s hair and smiled when he smelled how pleased his Omega was.  This was what he’d always wanted, a connection with someone else, the person meant just for him. He’d worried for a while in the beginning that Castiel would reject him, so this was like a dream come true.  He honestly didn’t care if Castiel could carry pups or not, as long as he had the man for the rest of his life.

 

“I’m hot,”  Castiel whined.  “I need another bath.”

 

“I’ll go run it for you.  Do you have any eucalyptus?  It might help relax you if you add some to the water.”

 

“No, I don’t really take baths often, so I don’t keep things in the house like that, but maybe I should.  Baths are nice. I tend to only take them during heats, but maybe with some pampering I could be persuaded to take them more often.”  Castiel was grinning playfully, and it got Dean laughing. His Omega had only just begun opening up like this after their deep conversation about Castiel’s past.  It was like something had been lifted off his shoulders and the Alpha was getting to see the man’s true personality. He loved it.

 

“I’m all for pampering.  I’ll get you stuff to take bubble baths, essential oils, the whole nine yards.  My baby is worth it.” He kissed Castiel, then dragged himself away to go upstairs and fill the bathtub.

 

There was a film in the tub, no doubt from sweat and slick, so after wiping it out, Dean filled it with lukewarm water.  He knew the moment Castiel had arrived because the heady scent of slick reached his nose. It was stronger than usual and surpassed the man’s natural honey and cloves scent.  He looked up from where he was kneeling beside the tub and smiled.

 

“Water’s ready.”

 

“Good, I feel like I’m melting.”  Castiel stepped into the room and Dean stood up, noticing how nervous his mate suddenly was.

 

“Baby, I promise, I’m not going to hurt you.”  He took Castiel’s hands and pulled the man into his arms.  “This will be so good, ok? I love you.” 

 

Castiel melted into his arms and laid his head on his shoulder.

 

“I believe you.  I’m just, I am self-conscious about my body.  I know that as my mate you should see me, and I-I want you to.  It’s just…”

 

“Honey, I understand.  You told me they took her by cesarean.  I understand there’s a scar, but it doesn’t affect how I think of you.  You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen, and I love you.” 

 

As he talked he slowly began stripping his mate out of the shorts and tee shirt he’d donned after his last bath.  When he got to the briefs his mate was wearing, which he’d lined with pads due to his heat, he looked Castiel in the eye.  The Omega was nervous, that much was still obvious, but he gave a quick nod of his head. Dean removed the underwear and let his Omega kick them away.  He got his first good look at the scar, which after all these years was not very prominent. Looking up he met Castiel’s gaze.

 

“She must have been so beautiful.  I love her because she was a part of you.  Maybe, if you ever want to show me, I’d love to see pictures of her.”

 

Castiel let out a broken sob and nodded.  “I would like that. She was the most beautiful pup I’ve ever seen.”

 

“Come on, sweetheart, you’re burning up, let’s get you in the water.”

 

Dean guided him into the tub and once Castiel was relaxed in the water, he knelt down again.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

Dean grabbed the washcloth he’d found in the linen cabinet and the rose scented bar of soap he’d brought with and began lathering it up.

 

“I’m pampering my mate, what does it look like?”

 

Castiel smiled happily as Dean began wiping the cloth across his heated skin.  

 

“It smells really good.”

 

“There are essential oils in the soap.  So this is real rose oil. I debated on what soap to buy, but I like the smell of the roses the best.”

 

“I like it too,”  Castiel sighed happily as Dean washed him and when the water grew cold, Dean helped him out.

 

“Tonight what you need is sleep, right?  First day of your heat wears you out?” Dean asked as he found a fluffy towel and began drying Castiel off.

 

“Yes, I’m very tired, but it’s still pretty early.  What if we watched a movie?”

 

“Sounds good.  We’ll take it easy and turn in early tonight.”  Dean said as he followed Castiel back to the bedroom and watched him pick out clothes to wear.  While his Omega headed back to the bathroom to clean up and discreetly add pads into his fresh briefs, Dean headed downstairs to make some tea and peruse his mate’s movie collection.  It was quite extensive.

 

When Castiel came downstairs they cuddled up on the couch to watch a couple of movies, while the Omega sipped at the tea Dean had made him, and the Alpha drank a beer.  At ten they cleaned up and headed up to bed.

 

“It will be worse come morning,”  Castiel said as he snuggled up against Dean’s side.

 

“How bad is it for you?”

 

“Well, the…arousal, it will be intense but still bearable.  I’ll be hot, probably cranky, and the nausea will be starting to set in. I apologize now if I am short with you; I’m not used to sharing my heat with anyone. I just deal with the pain and  _ arousal _ by myself, and it generally puts me in a bad mood.”

 

“Well, if I do my job right you’ll be riding high on endorphins by tomorrow night, and there will be nothing to be cranky about.”  Dean kissed the tip of his nose, making him snicker softly.

 

“I believe I am ready to take your knot.”

 

“And to be my mate?”  Dean asked. Castiel snuggled in closer and closed his eyes.

 

“I am definitely ready to be your mate.”

 

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Dean was awakened the following morning by the oven that was draped across his chest.  At first his brain didn’t register what was happening but as he slowly became aware, he remembered where he was, and that it was Castiel lying on top of him, feeling like a furnace.  He touched his mate’s naked back (at some point during the night he’d lost his shirt) and immediately became worried.

 

“Cas, baby, wake up.”

 

Castiel groaned but didn’t move.

 

“Cas!”

 

Slowly the Omega lifted his head and looked at him with bloodshot eyes.

 

“What?”

 

“Sweetheart, you’re burning up.  I’m going to get a bath drawn for you right now.”

 

“Mm’k.”  Castiel dropped his head again but Dean was already wriggling out from under him.  He whined and reached for the Alpha, who caught his hand and kissed the back of it.

 

“Don’t move, I’ll be back in just a few minutes.”

 

He hurried into the bathroom and started filling the tub with cool water.  After getting clean towels and setting out a clean bath mat, he hurried back to the bedroom to get Cas up.

 

“It’s never this bad.  I’m never this  _ hot _ ,”  Castiel whined.

 

“We’re going to get your temperature down, don’t worry.  If we can’t, we’re going to the hospital.” Dean stripped the shorts and underwear off his mate and lifted him up.

 

“Dean, it’s cold!”  Castiel cried as Dean lowered him into the water.

 

“I know, but we have to get your temp down.”  

 

While Cas sat in the slowly filling bathtub, Dean began searching through the medicine cabinet, looking for anything that would bring Castiel’s temperature down.  He found some Tylenol and poured those into his hand. After filling the cup that stayed in the bathroom with water, he returned to the tub, handing the pills and glass of water over.

 

When the tub was filled up to Castiel’s chest, Dean turned the water off.  His Omega was shivering which worried him, so he went back to the bedroom to grab his phone.  Sam should know what was going on, so he called him.

 

“Dean?  I’m at work, what’s going on?”  Sam’s voice was hushed, so Dean guessed he was in the hall, between patients.

 

“Cas has a really bad fever, worse than Mom ever had.  I put him in the tub with cool water and gave him Tylenol.  What else can I do?”

 

“Oh, well, this is his first heat with you there with him; as an unmated Omega his body is likely in overdrive.  Is he experiencing intense arousal yet or is he still cramping?” Sam asked. Dean knelt down beside the tub and placed a hand on Castiel’s shoulder.

 

“Sweetheart, are you still cramping or has the arousal started finally?”

 

“I hurt, my abdomen is killing me!”  

 

“I heard him.  Ok, so you’re going to alternate the Tylenol and ibuprofen every three hours.  If by this evening his fever hasn’t come down, call me and I’ll meet you in the ER. Unfortunately, all they have is heat suppressants they can use to stop the fever.  If they do that, it will be just this bad or worse at his next heat. He needs  _ you _ , Dean.  You should claim him as soon as the cramping stops and the arousal becomes unbearable.  This happened to me and Eileen as well, but once we mated, every heat after that was perfectly normal, if not a little easier for her.  Keep an eye on that fever, use ice packs, and a heating pad on his abdomen should help,” Sam instructed.

 

“Ok, I’ll let you know if things get worse.  He’s so flushed he’s almost red; it’s scary.”  Dean ran his fingers through his mate’s sweat-damp hair before leaning in and kissing his forehead.

 

“It’s not unusual.  You’ve never helped someone through their heat, have you?  Aside from feeding mom when dad was drunk. I mean in a sexual capacity.”

 

Dean blushed, knowing his mate could hear Sam on the phone.

 

“Well, yeah, but she never even let me knot her.  Said it was a phobia. We mated without ever knotting. Looking back I realize it was because she didn’t want my pups.  But her heats were never like this. She barely had them at all.”

 

“That’s because she was using heat suppressants.  Betas don’t experience heats like Omegas to start with, but hers were basically nonexistent.  She was doing what she could to keep the bond shallow on her end, so if she left,  _ she  _ wouldn’t be hurt as bad.  I’m sorry.” Sam’s voice dripped with sympathy and Dean felt a renewed anger towards Bela.  A wet hand landing on his arm drew his attention back to the present.

 

“I won’t do that to you, Dean.  I love you, and I don’t want anyone else.  I’m nervous, but I’m not scared.” Castiel said with so much sincerity it made the Alpha’s eyes watery.  

 

“I love you too.  We’ll figure this out.”

 

Dean got a reminder from Sam to keep his Omega fed, and then they were hanging up.  He touched his mate’s forehead and was pleased to feel that the fever was coming down finally.

 

“I’m going to go and make some oatmeal.  Think you can stomach toast?”

 

“With butter and cinnamon honey.  I am craving sweet things,” Castiel replied.

 

“Ok, you just relax in here and I’ll serve you breakfast in bed once I come back and can get you back to the bed.  I also need to check the sheets, they were damp with sweat when I got up.” Dean climbed back to his feet, feeling how his knees ached from being on them, and headed to the bedroom to strip the sheets first.  He did that as quickly as possible, then went to get a load of laundry started. They were going to be doing a lot of laundry before this week was over.


	14. Chapter 14

Dean made oatmeal, toast, coffee, and chamomile tea for his mate’s stomach.  He carried everything back up to the bedroom, setting the tray he’d put everything on down on the dresser.  Castiel was just getting out of the tub so he hurried to help him dry off and walk back to the bedroom.

 

“I need clothes.”

 

“No you don’t, you’ll just sweat through them and make more laundry for me.  You can lounge naked. Besides, the last thing you need is layers that will bring your fever up again.  You’re gorgeous, just lay back and enjoy this extravagant breakfast I’ve made you.” Dean helped Castiel into the bed and then went to fetch the tray.

 

“Extravagant, eh?”  Castiel laughed as the kickstands were put down on the tray and it was set over his lap.  “Pretty fancy, huh.”

 

Dean laughed as he returned to his side of the bed and picked up one of the bowls of oatmeal.

 

“Yeah, well, it’s good, eat up.  I’ll save the fancy stuff for later.  Your next heat, I’m going to make meals in advance and freeze them, and we’re going to get very familiar with your crock pot, more than we are already.  There will always be food for you.” 

 

“You’re so good to me.  Before, I would just buy granola bars and gallons of water and in between…you know, I’d force myself up to take showers and eat maybe half a sandwich.  I usually lose a few pounds every heat because I don’t eat enough. This is more than I could have made, feeling the way I do, so to me, yes, it’s extravagant.  I have nausea pills in the bathroom cabinet. Zofran. I’ll need one of those before I can eat this.”

 

Dean jumped up and returned to the bathroom to get the pills.  He brought the entire bottle back and passed it over. Castiel popped one in his mouth and sighed.

 

“They dissolve, so they work almost instantly,” he explained as he picked up his mug of tea.

 

“You feel better then?”  Dean asked. Castiel smiled and nodded.  

 

“For the moment.”

 

They ate breakfast and then Dean cleaned up and went to switch loads.  When he returned, Castiel was asleep, curled up on his side and snoring softly.  He took that as an opportunity to get the laundry finished and scrub down the bathroom, then he headed downstairs to figure out which dish he wanted to make for dinner.  He rinsed out the crock pot and started the chicken for the chicken and dumplings. He’d just started chopping the apples he’d brought to make an apple crumble when he heard footsteps on the stairs.  A moment later Castiel was walking into the kitchen, still fully naked.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Making dessert.  It’s an apple crumble.  I didn’t feel up to making pies.”  Dean nodded towards the apples. “I just thought a dessert might be nice.”

 

“I think so too.  I’m hungry again.”

 

Dean finished chopping the last bit of apple and headed to the fridge to start pulling everything out to make sandwiches.  He wasn’t that hungry yet himself, but he’d make a nice, big one for his mate. 

 

“So, I brought chicken, turkey, roast beef, pastrami, you tell me which one you want.”

 

“Can I have some of each one on my sandwich?”  Castiel asked. 

 

“Sure.”  Dean went on to stack the sandwich high with meat, tomatoes, and lettuce, then passed it over to his mate, who promptly devoured it.

 

“I’m thirsty.” Castiel headed to the fridge himself and pulled out a container of iced tea while Dean got glasses down. His Omega poured them both a glass.

 

“How are you feeling?”  Dean touched his mate’s forehead.  The fever was climbing again. He went to fetch some ibuprofen and brought it back down.  

 

“I’m tired, my abdomen hurts, but the ibuprofen will help.  The thirst is kicking in pretty bad though.” Castiel poured himself a second glass and drank half of it down in one go.  Dean watched him carefully. Since they’d woken up the scent of arousal had been steadily growing stronger on the Omega, but the Alpha was being patient and as calm as possible.  He knew Castiel could smell it on him but so far, he wasn’t trying to jump Dean’s bones. He wasn’t sure if he ever would. Bela hadn’t, but then again, she’d been on suppressants the entire time.  He’d been pretty enough to mate, but his income wasn’t enough to keep her happy. Hell, his income was barely enough to support himself in this economy, but he managed, and with some advice from his friend Aaron, he’d been investing for years.  It was how he was able to do everything he did for Castiel. 

 

His father had ingrained in him and his brother growing up that a good Alpha took care of their mate in every way possible, and he was trying hard to do that here and now with Castiel.  When his Omega smiled at him, he smiled back.

 

“Do you want to go back to bed and rest some more?” he asked.

 

“No, I believe I’d like to have sex now.  I-I think I’m ready to take a knot, though I won’t be ready to bond until later, when my heat is at its height.”

 

Dean gaped at him for a moment before his head began to bob in an eager nod.

 

“Yeah, ok, um, just give me a minute to clean all this up.”

 

He’d never stored food in the fridge so fast in his life, and he knew his mate was laughing, could hear him doing so, but he didn’t care.  They were finally,  _ finally _ going to have penetrative  _ sex _ , and he couldn’t wait.  Once everything was in the fridge and he had refilled Castiel’s tea, they made their way upstairs to the bedroom.

 

This time it was Dean who felt nervous.  He waited for Castiel to put down his glass of tea and turn to face him.

 

“I thought Alphas were supposed to be lustful and uncontrollable around an Omega in heat,” he teased.  Dean rolled his eyes and chuckled.

 

“Only the assholes are.  I happen to respect people.  Most of all, I respect you. I love you, Cas.  I want to be the Alpha you need, and letting myself be mindlessly driven by lust is not what you need.”

 

Castiel closed the distance, wrapped his arms around the Alpha’s neck and kissed him.  It wasn’t chaste in the slightest, and very quickly had them both grabbing and squeezing at one another as Dean herded them back towards the bed.  

 

“Dean, I need you.”  The Omega shoved him down in a burst of strength and straddled his Alpha.  Dean was thankful for their foray into nakedness and having his sexy mate on top of him was incredibly hot.  He was already well on his way to being hard; he hadn’t expected his mate to take control like this. It was exciting.

 

Castiel kissed him again, deeper this time.  The scent of arousal permeated the air, thick and heavy.  His fingers found their way into Dean’s hair, pulling tight as he ground down against him.  The Alpha’s instincts kicked in and he flipped them so Castiel was laid out on the bed beneath him.  He was gorgeous like that, and he took his time, kissing his way down his Omega’s body. When he reached the scar, the one thing Cas was most ashamed of, he pressed a gentle kiss to the line, the mark that spoke of the love his Omega had for his lost daughter.  To him, it made his mate even more perfect, knowing he could love so deeply and completely. He knew Castiel loved him, that he was  _ in _ love with him, and he felt privileged to be one of the people that he cared so deeply about.  He loved Castiel with everything he had.

 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

 

Their first mating was…incredible, for both of them.  Taking a knot turned out to incredibly pleasurable for Castiel and getting to knot his Omega was wonderful for Dean.  He couldn’t wait to do it again, so they did. Over and over, for six straight days. By the end Dean could barely stand, his own rut being triggered by Castiel’s heat had surprised him, but it only lasted three days, and ended a day before his Omega’s heat ended.  Getting to claim his mate had been the best moment of his life. There were no false pretenses. This was for life, and he knew Castiel wouldn’t leave him like Bela had done. 

 

Castiel was adjusting to mated life better than Dean had expected.  He was happy, loving being spoiled, but was learning how to lavish attention back on his Alpha.  He insisted that Dean move into his house, and the first thing he did was hire a company to go pack all of his Alpha’s things up and bring them to his house.  From there they spent the next few months unpacking and finding a way to make things they both owned fit. They both had to give stuff up, but in the end, Dean talked about the house he wanted to get again.  Castiel looked into it and found that it was still available. So he bought it outright. Dean wasn’t exactly happy about that, but he understood that his Omega had the money to buy whatever he wanted. He tried not to be too bitter about it.

 

Castiel was sensitive, both to the world around him and to his mate’s moods.  He knew he’d overstepped in just buying the house outright; he’d just been excited to start their lives together.  It was a new beginning for them both, and he said as much to his mate. That placated the Alpha, who made a suggestion that shocked the Omega to his core.  It came over dinner one evening, not long after they’d finished unpacking in the new house.

 

“Babe, I’ve been thinking.”

 

Castiel looked up from his plate, his gaze questioning.

 

“About?”

 

“That pup, Ella, the one that you were helping.  She’s been released, right? I haven't seen her at the hospital,”

 

Castiel smiled as he thought about Ella.  She was getting big, and making so much progress.

 

“She has.  She’s doing so well.”

 

“I was thinking, what if…we adopted her?”

 

Castiel stared at his mate.  Hard. He lowered his fork to his plate and tried to swallow against the lump in his throat.

 

“Adopt.”

 

“I mean, if you don’t want more kids, I’ll understand, but I know she’s one you’ve really connected with, and I’ve seen you with her.  I, um, I went in to hold her a few times too, when I went to visit Sammy. She’s beautiful. I just thought, she needs a loving home, and we could protect her.”  Dean poked at his potatoes, wondering if he had stepped out of line.

 

“I-I think…yes, I want that,”  It came out as a whisper, and there were tears in the Omega’s eyes.  “I want that very much.”

 

Dean got up from his seat and knelt down beside his mate’s chair.  He wrapped Castiel up in his arms and held him as he let out all of his pain and grief, but also cried his tears of joy.  This wasn’t replacing Sadie, this was giving a home to a pup like she’d been, and they both wanted to honor Sadie’s memory by opening their homes and their lives to a pup in need.  Castiel wanted it more than he’d realized. The thought had crossed his mind over the years with several abandoned pups, but none had affected him the way little Ella did. He cried until there was nothing left, then he buried his face in Dean’s neck.  He needed the comfort of his mate. After so many long years alone, he needed to let go, to lean on Dean.

 

“I want her. I want her so much.”  He sniffled and sat back in his seat again.

 

“Then who do we need to talk to about her?”  Dean asked.

 

“I’m not sure.  First, I’ll contact my lawyer, let him handle it.  He’ll take care of the paperwork. Child services took her three months ago but no one has shown any interest in adopting her yet.  I’ve…been following up on her. I want to go see her in the morning. Will you meet me for lunch? We can see her together.” Castiel brushed the back of his hand gently down the side of his Alpha’s face.

 

“I have a break from 2:30 t0 3:30.  I can meet you then, if you want to wait to see her.  I’d like to be there for it,” Dean said.

 

“Yes, I can wait. I will see if Anna has time to meet me for breakfast instead.”

 

“She’s going to be happy for us.”  Dean smiled at his mate, who smiled back.

 

“She will be.  I can’t wait to hold Ella in my arms.  It will be different this time. She’s not just a pup I’m helping anymore.  She’s mine, or she will be. And yours. Our child. Ella Winchester has a beautiful ring to it.”  

 

“It does.  She’ll need a middle name of course.”  

 

Castiel thought for a moment.  “I gave her the name Ella. It’s only fitting that you provide her middle name.”

 

“There’s one name I’ve always liked for a girl.  Never thought I’d get to have one. I think Sophia is a pretty middle name, don’t you?”  Dean thought the two names went well together.

 

“Ella Sophia Winchester.  I love it. I’ll do everything within my power to make her ours,”  Castiel promised. There was a fierce determination in his eyes.

 

“I know you will.  And since you bought the house, I want to cover whatever adoption fees are involved.  We’ll make sure she can be ours before we go setting up a nursery, but once we know, I’ll buy anything you want for her.”

 

“I’m calling my lawyer right now.”  Castiel grabbed his cell phone as Dean returned to his seat and as the Alpha listened, Castiel spoke with the lawyer, giving instructions he wanted completed as quickly as possible.  When he hung up, he was smiling brightly.

 

“In the morning he’s calling child services, and they’ll call the foster parents.  They don’t plan to adopt, they have six pups of their own. I check with them at least every week,” the Omega said.  

 

“She’ll be ours.”  Dean was confident of it.  Castiel beamed at him.

 

“She will be.”

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thank you to everyone that read this, and I hope you all enjoyed it. I am getting ready to post the 30 Day Writing Challenge for November, I've just been really sick. I have a virus that's being exacerbated by my asthma, and the meds I'm on for my asthma aren't working right. They keep changing my maintenance inhaler because they're not working right. Hopefully they figure it out soon. So get ready for those stories. I realize I'm behind on posting them, but between coughing up a lung, fevers, and exhaustion, writing and posting hasn't really been my top priority lately. 
> 
> Let me know what you think of this one, I'm interested in seeing how everyone likes it. Again, thank you for reading!


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